


Ancient Fears

by TheFoolsKnight



Series: Spell My Name In Your Blood [2]
Category: The Bane Chronicles - Sarah Rees Brennan & Cassandra Clare & Maureen Johnson, The Eldest Curses Series - Cassandra Clare, The Mortal Instruments Series - Cassandra Clare
Genre: Anxiety, Cuddling & Snuggling, Established Relationship, Homecoming, How Do I Tag, Jealousy, Kissing, M/M, Magnus Bane Needs A Hug, Murder, Panic Attacks, Paris (City), Poisoning, Possessive Behavior, Protective Alec Lightwood, Relationship Problems, Vacation, Violence, Yandere Alec Lightwood
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-31
Updated: 2019-10-31
Packaged: 2020-12-07 10:37:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 5
Words: 21,514
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20974526
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheFoolsKnight/pseuds/TheFoolsKnight
Summary: All Magnus Bane wanted was a break.Who wouldn’t, when people stared at him in the hallways, when his past wouldn’t leave him alone, when his boyfriend’s dark secret was eating him alive? But then, as it turns out, a break is just what it takes for things to get worse.





	1. Part 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, guys!!!  
First of all, if you haven't read the first part in this series, then I highly recommend that you do so. This fic will make more sense if you've read the first part.  
And if you've already read it, then welcome back! Enjoy the story!

Magnus slammed the glass down on the table.

The first few days at college was a blur of people coming up to him, giving him their condolences, some even apologising for having thought he was a murderer.

Everywhere he went, it seemed that people could find only one topic to talk about - the notorious murderer, Sebastian Morgenstern.  
Little did they know.

He wished he was one of those people. He wished he could've believed that Sebastian was the one who murdered the people he had dated back in his second year, along with several others. He wished he could've spent his life hating Sebastian Morgenstern for crimes he didn't commit. He wished he was one of those ignorant people.

_But no, _he thought, _you just had to walk into that basement, didn't you?_

He picked up another shot glass, downing its contents in one go. 

"Man, are you alright?" Ragnor, sitting in a seat opposite him asked. "You've taken too many shots for someone who's been here only twenty minutes."

"I'm fine," Magnus snapped, a little too harshly. Ragnor frowned at him.

“You're wasted," he said.

"Am not," Magnus slurred, and took another shot. Ragnor sighed and pulled out his phone. 

“Boy trouble?" Ragnor asked and snorted. Magnus, who had his head in his hands, because Ragnor was right - he _had _taken too many shots, peered up at him.

"No wait," Ragnor backtracked immediately. "I take that back. Alec is a good guy. Probably _too good _for you."

Magnus internally snorted at that. If only Ragnor knew.

He shut his eyes for a few moments, a slight wave of dizziness passing over him. How many shots _had_ he taken? 

The music was suddenly too loud for him, pounding in his ears. There were too many people, and too much noise. If this continued any longer, he'd probably have a headache.

He thought about Alec, about his great treacherous secret, and decided he could carry it no longer. He _had _to tell someone. It was a miracle that he had managed to go the last few days without going mad.

"Yeah, about that, Ragnor, there's something I have to tell you." Magnus took a deep breath before opening his eyes and looking up. "Alec is-"

But all his words died in his throat the moment he saw who was in front of him. Ragnor was gone, and in place of him sat another person. It was the very same person who, in that basement, had stood over a dead body with a knife in his hand, the body of a person whom he had _killed. _He was the same person who had killed pure, innocent Etta; Camille, who while being a treacherous person certainly did not deserve to be murdered in cold blood, and several others. He was now looking at Magnus, his head propped up on one hand and a sort of playful curiosity in his blue eyes.

"Alec is what?" He asked, and his lips tugged upwards into a small smile.

"Only the best boyfriend I've ever had," Magnus completed, and commended himself on the save. Alec's smile widened at the statement, his eyes shining. "What are you doing here, darling?"

"Ragnor texted me." Alec held up his phone to show that Ragnor had indeed texted him. "He was concerned that you were too drunk, and asked me to come pick you up."

"I see," Magnus said, and internally cursed Ragnor every single cuss word in the dictionary.

"Come on." Alec got up, holding out a hand for Magnus. Magnus took it, even though he wanted to bolt in the opposite direction.

_But why? _he wondered. He looked at Alec, who was looking back at him with open, gentle eyes. The dim light of the bar swathed him in shadows, only adding to his slightly mysterious but very appealing aura.

Alec pulled him to his feet, and Magnus stumbled, only to be steadied by Alec's strong hands. There was something nagging him at the back of his mind, though. Something about Alec.

_He loves you, _Magnus reminded himself. _There is nothing to be afraid of._

So he let Alec be his anchor in this rapidly swaying world.

The bedroom door slammed shut, and Alec gently set Magnus on the side of the side of the bed. The world wasn't swaying as much anymore now that he was sitting upright, but the lights in Alec's bedroom were still too bright. Magnus closed his eyes, and was briefly annoyed when the light penetrated his eyelids.

Then a shadow fell across them, and Magnus opened his eyes to see Alec standing above him. He held Magnus's face in one hand, and was gently wiping his face with something that felt cool and slightly wet. Magnus wondered what he was doing, and when he felt the pressure of the strange object near his eyes, where he applied eyeliner, did he realise that these were makeup wipes.

_Oh, _Magnus thought. It was a sweet gesture from a sweet person. Moreover, Alec was blocking the bright light which had been annoying him. He was beginning to like Alec more and more. That something was still nagging at the back of this head, though. Something about Alec, again, but he decided that he could wait until morning.

"Come on," Alec said, when he was done, kissing the top of Magnus's head. "Let's go to bed."

He moved to throw the now dirty makeup wipes away, and Magnus wondered why he was going to sleep at Alec's house- not that he was complaining. Then he realised it was because the landlord had kicked him out. Oh well.

Magnus shifted and lay on the bed, on his back, and stared at the ceiling. He couldn't remember why the landlord had kicked him out, but he supposed it didn't really matter. It must've been some stupid reason, like the parties he occasionally threw at his place.  
Alec turned the light off and clambered into bed. Magnus could make out his silhouette beside him and turned on his side.

“Alec?"

“Hm?"

"Can I get a goodnight kiss?" Magnus was feeling very tired, and the words that came out were no more than a whisper. Alec complied, shifting closer to Magnus and pecked him on his lips.

"Goodnight," he whispered, and Magnus closed his eyes, falling asleep, vaguely feeling the weight of Alec's head on his chest.

Magnus should've known this would be the consequence of drinking on a school night.  
He ruefully massaged his head as he attempted to listen to what his French professor was saying. It didn't work. He had a terrible hangover despite having taken an Advil in the morning. Atleast it had gotten better- he had woken up in the morning feeling like someone had taken a chainsaw to his head.

The bell rang soon enough, and Magnus slowly picked up his belongings. Most of the students, however rushed out the door as soon as the bell rang. Understandable, since they were all actually eager to spend time with their friends and significant others. Magnus however wasn't in the least bit excited. Ever since Sebastian happened, people _stared_ at him. They talked, and they pitied him. Even now, as he shoved his books into his backpack, he could feel the eyes of the other students on him, could hear their whispers. And the less said about his significant other, the better.

He wished he could get away from it all for a while. But he didn't how without hurting any of his friends' or Alec's feelings.

“Magnus," The professor, Mrs. Verlac called out as he hastened to leave. Magnus stopped and turned to her.

"Yes ma'am?" He asked. She waited until the class was empty save for the two of them and then said, "I know you've been going through a very trying time."

"I-" Magnus didn't know how to respond. Mrs. Verlac was a nice woman, but she hardly ever reached out to her students, and definitely not like this.

She held up a hand to silence him, and continued.

“There's this student exchange program taking place next week in France," she said. "It's two weeks long, and I thought, since you are one of our best students, not to mention, you seem like you could use a break, I could suggest your name for the program?"

Magnus blinked. "What?"

"Would you like to sign up for the student exchange program-" she repeated patiently, "That's taking place in Paris and will be two weeks long?"

Magnus thought this over, but only for a moment. Two weeks away from school, away from all the pitying gazes, away from Alec. He could be free again, if only for a while, but it would be more than enough.

He didn't have to think long. 

He knew what his answer would be.

"I'd love to."

Magnus had agreed to the program, yes, but now he was at a total loss for words when it came to telling Alec about it. They were in Alec's living room, watching TV. Alec was sitting on the couch while Magnus had settled for a armchair nearby. He watched his boyfriend pet his cat, Chairman Meow, whose tiny body was stretched across Alec's lap. Chairman hardly ever liked people, always hiding himself away when new people came around, but he seemed to like Alec.

It was a little funny, watching a renown murderer play around with a cat, but Alec didn't seem the kind of person who killed cats- or any animals for that matter. Atleast, Magnus hoped he wasn't.

“So," Magnus said slowly, still wondering how he should breach the topic, "Mrs. Verlac talked to me today."

Alec looked up at him, his fingers freezing in Chairman's fur.

"And she said," Magnus continued, "She wanted me to sign up for this student exchange program to Paris."

“Oh," Alec said. Magnus couldn't make out his tone. "How long?"

“Two weeks." Now he couldn't tell what Alec was thinking either. It was as if a switch had flickered inside Alec, shutting off his emotions to the rest of the world. Magnus wanted to spill everything to Alec, wanted him to understand why this trip was so important to him, but all he ended up saying was, "She didn't exactly give me a choice."

Alec had gone back to stroking the Chairman's fur, looking thoughtful.

“I’ll miss you," he said at last. Magnus's shoulders slumped in relief. He had been worried, he realised now, that Alec would react badly, would force him to stay back.

Clearly he had been worrying in vain.

“I'll miss you too," Magnus muttered, and slowly smiled as well. "But I'll be back before you know it."

Alec smiled back and reached out a hand towards Magnus, abandoning the Chairman. Magnus reached out his hand as well, and couldn't help but chuckle when Alec bent over, stretching his hand as much as possible.

"Wait," he muttered, and got up. He moved towards Alec, clasping his hand in his own, and sat down beside him. Alec curled into him, putting his head on Magnus's shoulder. Magnus hesitated a moment, then snuggled into Alec as well.

There was still a lot of wrong in his life, and a trip to Paris wouldn't fix any of it, but Magnus let himself forget all of that for just this moment.

Once the tickets were booked and everything was confirmed, Magnus knew he couldn't waste any time preparing for it. This was _Paris _they were talking about - city of love, fashion capital of the world. And Magnus wouldn't be caught dead in an outfit lower than the standards that Paris called for. So, at the very next offered opportunity, Magnus dragged Alec to the nearest mall.

“Magnus," Alec called out, amused, for Magnus was literally dragging Alec along through the crowds. "Slow down."

"I can't!" Magnus exclaimed over his shoulder. "It's been too long since I went shopping!"

Alec grinned at him. They spent the next few hours shopping, Alec patiently waiting and watching as Magnus sifted through dozens of clothes, tried them on, and selected the best ones. While he was at Sephora, Magnus was glad he that Alec had volunteered to stay outside. Alec would definitely have a few things to say about the way the lady behind the counter was eyeing him.

Once Magnus was satisfied with the quantity of clothes he had purchased, he and Alec unanimously decided to take a break at the food court. They gave their orders, and found a table somewhere in the middle. Alec put down the half dozen bags he was holding and asked, 

"Do you always shop _this _much?"

Magnus set down his own bags and smiled at him. "No, but since this is a special occasion, I decided to go all out. It would be a shame if I had to wear the same outfit twice while in Paris of all places."

Alec chuckled. "I don't know," he said shyly, and actually blushed a little. "I think you'd look good in anything."

Magnus smiled at him, slow and sweet and pleasant.

He thought that today had actually been quite pleasant. Alec had been the perfect boyfriend, not complaining even once, and even helping him with his bags. There was, of course, the glaring flaw that was the elephant in the room, but Magnus thought that maybe, if he just ignored it, it wouldn't bother him as much.

“Excuse me?"

Magnus looked away from Alec, to the side, where a brown haired girl was standing. She was looking at Magnus with an expression very familiar to him.

_Shit._

"Aren't you Magnus Bane?" she asked.

"Um, yes?" He said, as if he himself was unsure on that matter.

"Oh, I've heard of you." She gave him a smile that was half sympathetic, half flirty. Magnus was deeply aware of Alec's presence across the table, and groaned internally. "I've heard what happened to you. You must be very upset."

She placed a hand on his shoulder, still giving him that half flirty, half pitiful look. Magnus just stared at her incredulously. Was she trying to score a date with him over his past?

Magnusthrew out an arm towards Alec, who took it without hesitation. The girl didn't seem to notice this. She didn't notice the way Alec was glaring at her, either.

_If looks could kill, _Magnus thought, _then this girl would already be on Alec's list of victims._

"So," the girl carried on, ignoring Magnus's lack of a reply. Her touch on Magnus's shoulder had turned into a light caress. Magnus squeezed Alec's hand. "Would you like to go out for coffee sometime?"

"I have a boyfriend," Magnus said, a little too quickly. This girl had _no idea _what she was getting into. He dearly hoped she wasn't getting murdered tonight.

She turned to Alec, seemingly noticing him for the first time. "Oh," she said, sounding disappointed. "I didn't realise you had one who was still alive."

_Keep that up and it will be a miracle if you're still alive by tomorrow, _Magnus thought. He clamped his mouth shut and glared at her, though he didn't seem to notice.

"Nice to meet you, too," Alec said dryly. The girl turned back to Magnus, a chirp seeping back into her face.

"Anyway, if you change your mind," she placed a piece of folded paper on the table in font of him and winked at him. "Call me, okay?"

As she sauntered away, Magnus could only think, mildly horrified_, Yep, she's dead._

He looked away from her retreating form, towards the paper, then looked up at Alec. Alec was staring at him, as though daring him to take the paper. Magnus flicked it off the table with no hesitation.

"She's the worst person who ever dared to hit on me," he told Alec. "And I do not say this lightly."

Alec nodded thoughtfully at that, though his thoughts appeared to be focused elsewhere. It was in that moment that Magnus realised he couldn't ignore the proverbial elephant in the room, no matter how hard he tried.  
Something coiled in his stomach. It took Magnus a moment to realize it was regret. Regret for all the foolish endeavors he'd had, which lead to several deaths. Deaths of people who'd just wanted a kiss, a night, a person by their side.

He looked at Alec again, and found his boyfriend staring into the distance, his eyes distant. Ever since _that_ night, it seemed that Magnus could not enjoy himself around Alec, that there would always be a crinkle no matter how much he'd try to smoothen things out.

And then there was the deepest regret of all - the choice of walking into that basement.

"Magnus," Alec said as they drove home in Alec's red Maserati, "Was this a date?"

"Would you like it to be?" Magnus asked, not taking his eyes off the road. He could just make out Alec shrugging from the corner of his eyes.

"I don't know," he said. "I suppose it qualifies as one, but..." He shrugged.

"Then leave it," Magnus said simply. He took a risk and turned to look at Alec. "I'll take you out on a proper date when I get back."

By the time Alec turned to him in astonishment, Magnus had already turned his gaze to the road.

"Really?" Alec exclaimed. Magnus couldn't help the small smile that played about his face. He could see Alec's face in his mind's eye, all bright smiles and nothing else. He reached out and squeezed Alec's hand briefly before letting it go.

"Really," he promised, turning into the street where Alec's house was.

The sun had almost set by the time they pulled in. Alec was out of the car first, grabbing as many bags as he could. Magnus took the remaining bags, locking the car with a click of a button as he went inside.

A few moments later, the bags were discarded on the couch, and Alec was in front of him, kissing him so softly, it contradicted his entire being. Magnus shut his eyes closed, feeling drunk in the sensation of kissing Alec. He could feel Alec's fingers brush across his face - his jawline, his cheekbones, the curve of his ears. Slowly, he pulled away, but not too far. He could still feel Alec's breath brush against his lips as he asked, "What do you want to do now?"

Magnus hummed consideringly for a moment.

"Movies and takeout?" He suggested. Alec smiled and pulled away entirely.

"I'll get the menu," he said, and went to the kitchen.

Magnus fell asleep halfway through Crazy Rich Asians against Alec's side. Alec smiled at his boyfriend, smoothing out Magnus's hair with one tender hand, and turned off the television.

He couldn't entirely believe this was happening to him. It all seemed so unreal - having a boyfriend, living with said boyfriend, being with someone you loved. He had never even considered this possibility, yet here he was.

Alec kissed Magnus's temple. "Come on, let's get you to bed," he murmured.

He stood up, the remote abandoned on the couch, and picked Magnus up in his arms to carry him to the bedroom. He loved carrying Magnus in his arms - it felt very different from carrying bodies, the feeling of holding someone alive and well and beloved. Magnus curled into him, his breath puffing out against Alec's shirt, and Alec felt a burst of fondness in his chest.

As he set Magnus down on the bed, Alec eyes caught movement just outside the window. Quickly covering Magnus with the duvet, he went over and opened the window, leaning outside and looking left and right.  
There was nothing there.

Before he turned back inside, the quiet sound of shuffling feet reached his ears. Alec stood still for a few moments, trying to catch some other sound, but heard nothing else.

_You're being paranoid, _he told himself. _There's nothing out there. Everything's fine._

He slowly turned away from the window, and just in case, checked the whole house for any intruders, but didn't find any. When he came back, however, there was a piece of folded paper lying on the nightstand beside Magnus.

Cursing himself for not having closed the window, Alec went over to Magnus immediately, making sure he was fine. Magnus was fast asleep, completely unaware that there might have been an intruder in the room. He had always been a heavy sleeper.

Dread and intrigue filled Alec as he reached for the paper fluttering on the nightstand. He opened the paper and dropped it as if it had given him an electric shock when he read what was written in it. There were only five words.

_I know what you did._

The rest of the week passed so slow, it was almost torturous.

There was a lot to do - preparing for a trip in one week was no joke. And Alec seemed paranoid, looking over his shoulder every now and then, his eyes darting from corner to corner as if he was looking for something.

"Are you alright?" Magnus asked one day as they walked home. Alec tore his gaze away from somewhere to his right and looked at Magnus.

"Yeah, I'm fine. Why?" He said it in a way that suggested he was not totally fine.

"You seem.. distanced," Magnus said. "Are you upset because I'm going for that program?"

Alec blinked in surprise. "No," he said slowly. "No, really, I'm not upset. Everything's fine."

At Magnus's disbelieving gaze, he added, "Really, Magnus. Everything's fine. In fact, it's best you go on this trip." He was talking a little too fast, as if he was trying to reassure himself and not just Magnus. "You'll be safe there."

“'Safe'?!" Magnus echoed incredulously. "Alec, what's going on?"

“Nothing." Alec waved a hand in a dismissive gesture. "I'm just being paranoid. I have this.. gut feeling, that's all. Nothing's going to happen. Don't worry about me."

Magnus nodded, letting go of the topic for the moment.

"Alright," he said. "Oh, by the way, remind me to pack my beret, will you?"

“Sure," Alec said. Everything was fine.

The airport was packed with students, businessmen and people returning from - or going on - a vacation. People hustled here and there, pushing carts loaded with bags. Between the hurry of going to the places they needed to be and the loud resonance of announcements, no one paid any attention to Magnus and Alec.

Magnus had asked Ms. Verlac for a moment with Alec, and she'd agreed. She had stayed back with the other two students chosen for the program - some red headed guy and Hypatia Vex, whom he knew to be at the center of all the gossip circles at the university.

Magnus was now pressed against a wall beside the red vending machines at the airport, his arms around Alec, and they were both kissing rather hard. Magnus let out a sigh when Alec's fingers entangled with his hair, and tilted his head, kissing Alec fiercely. A few months ago, he would've been afraid to do so in public, when he thought that Alec's life was in danger from some mysterious killer. Ironically, there had been no reason for Magnus to worry, because Alec's life wouldn't be in danger from himself.

Alec moaned lowly when Magnus's tongue found its way into his mouth, and Magnus's lips quirked up at the corner. It had been a while since he and Alec had kissed like this - heated and fierce, without a care in the world. The last time had been in-

_The basement._

At the thought of what had gone down that night, Magnus pulled away slowly from Alec. Alec didn't look puzzled, or disappointed, or any of that, he just looked content to be here.

"I need to go," Magnus murmured slowly.

Alec nodded. "Call me everyday, okay?"

Magnus nodded back, and a small smile spread on his face. "I will."

They went back to where the students were standing, surrounded by their bags. Magnus had more bags than the other two students, which might've been a little embarrassing, but he didn't really care. Ms. Verlac raised an eyebrow when she saw them approaching.

"That took more than a _moment_," she said pointedly, clearly irritated and even a little amused. Alec flushed deeply, and Magnus chuckled.

Turned out Ms. Verlac was irritated because it was nearly time for them to board the flight. She wasted no time in pushing them towards the terminal. Magnus said his goodbyes and left with a final kiss on the cheek for Alec.

"That's your boyfriend?" The redhead asked as they walked towards the terminal. Magnus looked back at Alec, who smiled and waved at him. Magnus waved back and turned back to the guy.

“Yes," he said.

The guy whistled. "Nice catch."

Magnus gave him a narrow-eyed look as they walked. He was aware of Hypatia behind them, listening to every word.

“Who are you, anyway?" he asked.

“Leon Verlac," Leon replied.

Once he finally boarded the plane, Magnus collapsed into his heat, feeling lighter than he had in a while.

Two weeks to himself. Two weeks away from New York, where it seemed that the past would never leave him alone.

He couldn't wait.

_Two weeks._

_She looked at the black haired boy walking into his house, all alone, and smiled to herself._

Two weeks, _she thought again. _That's more than enough time for me to kill you, Alec Lightwood.


	2. Part 2

Magnus's room was on the seventh floor of the hotel, which wasn't much - just a bed, a couch and a coffee table off to the side, and other odd little bits of furniture. There was, of course, a bathroom with its own shower, a small closet, and a balcony. The balcony was a mandatory requirement. Magnus absolutely hated hotel rooms with no balconies. The room also had a flatscreen TV and free wifi. Thank God for the free wifi.

Magnus stood on the balcony, the wind softly blowing through his hair, feeling lighter than he had in a long time. He stood there for a long time, reveling in the peace, not giving a care for the world around him.

His eyes were closed, and his head was propped up on the balcony railing with both his hands, and he could hear the people in the street below, talking and laughing. Cars and other vehicles whizzed along the road below. Somewhere in the distance, sounds of music emanated, probably from some club nearby. It was all very peaceful.

When Magnus opened his eyes, he was treated to the sight of city lights stretching out below - and above - him. He sighed and turned away to go inside, only to come back moments later, but this time with his phone in hand. He called Alec and set the phone to his ear, looking at a billboard of some French movie.

"Hey, honey," he said when Alec finally picked up. "What's new?"

"You tell me," Alec replied from the other side of the line. "How's Paris?"

Magnus chuckled. "Oh, I don't know. I've been here for about an hour, that's all. And I need to get some sleep now. Can't fall asleep in class on the first day of the program. I highly doubt they'll take jet-lag for a good excuse. I also need enough time to have my breakfast."

He was pretty much rambling at this point, but Alec listened. In all the time Magnus had known him, Alec was always a good listener.

"Do you need to go now?"

“No, it's fine." Magnus a hand dismissively, though Alec couldn't see it. "I can spare a few minutes for my boyfriend. What are you doing?"

“Nothing much. The Chairman's giving me company."

Magnus was sceptical about the 'Nothing much' part, but if Chairman was there, then surely that meant Alec wasn't partaking in illegal activities? Or maybe he _was_ doing illegal activities. It was hard to tell with cats, whether they were just pure fluffy balls of angels or just demons disguised as pure fluffy balls of angels.

"Okay," was all he said. There was a silence and then,

"I miss you," Alec said. Magnus grinned.

"_Alec."_

“I know, I know. It's only been a few hours since you left. But still..."

Magnus laughed. "If it's any consolation, I miss you too."

Alec sighed. "How am I supposed to survive two weeks without you?"

“You'll live," Magnus countered.

"I doubt it."

"We'll see," Magnus said lightly, and then looked at the time. "And it's time for me to sign off now. Talk to you later."

"Okay," Alec said. "Good night. I love you."

Magnus's heart skipped a beat, but it just wasn't the same anymore. "I love you too."

The first day at school was nice - the students were good to him, the faculty was very helpful, and no one had made any comments at him. Most importantly, no one stared at him like he was pitiful, or a cursed specimen. 

He'd made some acquaintances, got several compliments on his looks, and had even been invited to a party on Wednesday. Only idiots would go to a party on a weekday, but then again, Magnus had been called a 'class A idiot' by Ragnor. He agreed to it.

The second day was pretty much the same as first, except Magnus decided to roam the streets a little instead of taking a nap like he did the previous day. He found a nice coffee shop run by an old couple which served excellent mocha. It was right next to the hotel to the hotel, so Magnus made a point to visit more often while he was around.  
Both the nights, he talked to Alec, mostly about Paris. He described the beauty of the City of Love, while Alec updated him on what was going on at college - who was dating who, who broke up with who, who fought with who - so Magnus wasn't really missing out.

Presently Magnus was talking to him, the phone tucked between his ear and shoulder while he ruffled through his bags for party-appropriate clothes.

“How was today?" Magnus asked, tossing aside a rust-coloured shirt. "Anything new?"

"Not really," Alec replied. "Cat asked you to call her, by the way."

Magnus bit his lip. Catarina and Ragnor were glad when he told them, that he was getting a break at last. He wondered why Catarina wanted to talk.

He shook it off. It was probably nothing. She probably just wanted to talk normal stuff. He was worrying for no reason.

“I will," Magnus said, and inspected a pair of leather pants with sequinned stripes running down the sides. Yes, this would do. Then he looked up at the little clock in the hotel room and started. "Alec, I'll call you later?"

“Okay," Alec said. Magnus couldn't decipher his tone, and that worried him too. "I miss you."

Magnus's heart missed a beat. "Miss you too. Love you."

"Love you, too."

The call ended, and Magnus threw the phone on the bed. He had a party to get ready for.

It was like any other regular party back in New York, except people were drinking alcohol more freely. People did that back in New York, too, except there it had an air of secrecy, and here it didn't.

Magnus sat on one of the couches in the club, and sipped his drink, his eyes darting from one person to another. Everyone seemed to have company, and it appeared no one was really interested in finding company unless it was of the romantic kind. Magnus had met the host, but he'd simply dismissed Magnus with a wave of his glass and a laugh in the direction of his friends. Rude.

Presently a girl approached Magnus. She was clearly looking for romantic company, but Magnus wasn't. The girl offered him a sultry smile, and sat next to him without a word.

"Enjoying the party?" She asked him. Magnus shrugged.

"It's alright," he said mildly.

"I could think of something to make your night better," she offered. "If you're up for it."

Magnus looked at her. He knew exactly what she was talking about. He had taken up many such offers back home. The girl was actually pretty, and had a nice French accent. It was a very easy choice.

"No thanks," he said in the same tone as earlier. "I have a boyfriend back home."

The girl shrugged and got up, presumably in search of another conquest.

"She should've expected you'd be taken," said a voice next to him. Magnus turned and saw another girl, about the same age as him. She was clearly not from around here.

“I think I just made it clear that I'm not interested in any romance right now," Magnus said.

"Oh no," the girl said, and smiled a little. "I have a boyfriend, too. I'm just trying to... you know. Get to know people here."

The girl squirmed in her seat. She was clearly awkward around strangers. Magnus was familiar with it as Alec was like that, too.

“Oh," he said, then introduced himself, stretching a hand towards her. "I'm Magnus."

"Shinyun," she replied, and shook his hand. "Where are you from?"

"New York. I'm actually Indonesian."

“I'm Korean, but I live in Rome."

Magnus politely smiled at her and turned away. The conversation hit a roadblock, and then Shinyun asked, "So, what do you do?"

Magnus shrugged, swirling his drink in one hand. "I'm planning to become a writer. People say I have a way with words, so I might as well put it to good use."

"Oh, that's cool," Shinyun said. "I get ideas sometimes, but I'm not really into writing. I'm on my way to be a dance instructor. Maybe open my own studio."

Magnus nodded, and then a sudden idea struck his head. "You said you get ideas sometimes, right?"

Shinyun blinked at him. "Yeah. Why?"

“Well..." Magnus paused a moment, then said, "I have this idea for a plot, but I'm kind of stumped. Could you help me?"

Shinyun nodded and leaned towards him, clearly interested.

"Yes."

“Okay then. See.. there's this guy. And he's dating another guy, who's like, this really sweet, adorable person, but also kind of mysterious. And one day, the first guy walks in on the second guy committing a murder. Basically, the second guy is a serial killer, and he knows that the first guy knows. Where should I go from there?"

Shinyun's eyes were wide. "Wow, that's kind of messed up."

Magnus looked away. 'Messed up' was exactly the way to describe his life at the moment.

"Well, if I was the first guy, I'd definitely break up with that killer."

Magnus contemplated it for a moment, and rapidly shook his head. He didn't have to think long to know what Alec's reaction would be. He'd already seen it.

“No, that won't work," Magnus said.

“Okay, then," Shinyun said, and shrugged. "I'll keep at it."

She got up, then, and left with a wave.

Magnus looked at the time and frowned. It was about 2:30 AM. Surely he hadn't spent that much time at the party?

Cursing himself, he got up and left the party. He really needed to get back to his room. He had classes tomorrow, after all.

As he walked back to the hotel - briskly, for he couldn't afford to waste any time - his phone rang. He wondered for a moment why Alec was calling him so late, then realised that time zones were a thing. Warily, he picked up.

"Magnus," Alec said before Magnus could even utter a word. Magnus froze.

This wasn't his Alec. He could tell, somehow. Mainly from his voice - he was using that same, strange, soft tone he had used in the basement that night.

“Alexander," Magnus said, his heart thumping hard. "Is everything alright?"

"Magnus, I miss you," Alec said, and despite everything, Magnus felt his heart melt a little. "I want to fall asleep in your arms, like I always do. I want you here."

"It's only ten days," Magnus whispered. "I'll be with you soon. I'll give you all the cuddles you want."

Alec giggled. "I can't wait."

Magnus, still a little overwhelmed because Alec _giggled, _replied - "Well, is the Chairman with you?"

“I think he's somewhere in the kitchen," Alec said. Magnus heard shuffling sounds on the other end, and then Alec's voice. "I've got him."

"Good," Magnus exhaled. "He likes cuddles. You can be with him."

"Okay. What about you? How was the party?"

Magnus didn't miss the tension running through Alec's voice.

“It was fine," Magnus replied coolly.

"Oh. Did you... meet someone?"

Magnus wondered how it was possible to feel horrified and even a little bit infatuated at the same time.

"No," Magnus lied. It was best not to tell Alec about that girl, or even Shinyun. "Not really."

"Okay," Alec said, though his tone suggested he was speaking to himself rather than Magnus. "Okay. Talk to you later, then. Bye, I love you."

"I love you too," Magnus said, just as Alec hung up.

Magnus heaved a great sigh and stared at his phone. What the hell had just happened?

The next few days passed in a blur of classes and some sightseeing, though Magnus couldn't stop thinking about that phone call on Wednesday night. He'd mostly kept to himself, only having the occasional small talk with Leon and Hypatia and Shinyun.

On Sunday, Shinyun offered to accompany him as he decided to look at some of the more popular tourist places in Paris. She had clearly taken Magnus's 'plot idea' to heart and was suggesting various ways to end it throughout the day.

"The guy could secretly report the killer to the police," Shinyun suggested as Magnus took a selfie in front of the Eiffel Tower.

"And then the killer will break out and come back anyway," Magnus said. It seemed the most likely thing Alec would do. He couldn't bear to be apart from Magnus. That much was clear from Wednesday night.

He sent the selfie to Alec, almost suggesting that Alec add it to his bulletin board, but he figured it would be embarrassing. Alec replied with a bunch of kissy-face emojis.

Magnus replied with even more.  
Shinyun, who was glancing at his phone, scrunched up her nose. "You guys are so disgustingly cute."

Magnus only grinned.

They moved to the top of the tower, and Magnus was face timing Alec, showing him the views.

"Isn't it beautiful?!" Magnus exclaimed, looking at Alec through the phone screen.

"Yes," Alec agreed. He was probably thinking the same thing as Magnus - that it would've been nicer if Alec was here with him. Or maybe it was better that Alec wasn't here.

"Magnus, shall we get going?" Shinyun called out from somewhere nearby. Magnus turned in her general direction and said,

"Yeah, just give me a minute!"

When he turned back to the screen, Alec's eyes were narrowed slits. "Who was that?"

"Oh that's-" Magnus's heart dropped down to his stomach. "That's Shinyun. A friend."

"A friend," Alec repeated in a low voice. Magnus could hear the tension strumming through his voice.

Before Magnus could say anything, Shinyun came up behind him. "Is that your boyfriend?"

"Yes," Alec replied almost immediately. He was clearly suspicious of her.

Shinyun looked like she was about to say something, but her phone rang at that very moment.

"Oh!" Shinyun smiled when she checked the caller ID. "My boyfriend's calling. I'll see you in a bit."

She went aside, and Magnus could see Alec's shoulders slump as he relaxed.

“Maybe the guy could turn on the killer and kill him?” Shinyun suggested as they looked at the Mona Lisa in the Lourve.

Magnus shook his head, looking at the painting. A lot of people described the woman to be extremely beautiful, but Magnus thought she was average-looking. It was, however, her expression that drew him in - the same enigmatic expression that first drew him towards Alec.

“The killer would overpower him,” he said simply. He did not want to think about that idea too much.

Shinyun huffed. “Spoilsport.”

They toured the city some more, and Shinyun suggested some other ideas. Magnus turned them all down.

“He could hire another killer to kill him?”

“He could get the killer to change his ways?”

“He could maybe get a job in another country and go away and fake a long distance relationship while living his own life?”

The last idea had real merit, but Magnus doubted Alec would like that.

As the sun went down, Magnus could only wonder if there was no way out of this life, if he had no other choice but to live in fear for the rest of his days.

This college seemed to have a thing for parties on Wednesday nights. Magnus was invited to another one the following week. He went for it, simply because he had nothing to do. Unfortunately, this one was way more boring than the last. 

A few more days had passed. Magnus couldn’t help but note that the clock was ticking a little too fast, as if time wanted him to finish his break as soon as possible. It was very annoying.

Magnus politely turned down some boy’s offer to show him ‘the proper way to French kiss’, and walked out of the party. It was only a little past eleven, so he wasn’t too late.

As he walked, his phone rang. Fighting down an unwelcome sense of déjà vu, Magnus saw that it was Alec calling, and picked up.

“Hey,” Alec said, light and normal, and Magnus exhaled.

“Hey, baby,” Magnus said casually. “What are you doing?”

“Nothing much,” Alec replied. “I miss you.”

“Me too. But I’ll miss Paris when I come back, I guess. It’s really nice here.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah.” Magnus passed a streetlight, and suddenly realised, with uneasiness, that he was practically alone in the street. “I was thinking… Maybe we could come here sometime. You and me together.”

There was silence for a moment, and then Alec said, his voice incredibly soft, “I’d like that. You and me, in Paris, together.”

Magnus smiled. He and Alec talked for a bit, and then cut off with their usual - “I love you.”

“I love you too.”

Magnus had only just shoved the phone back into his pocket when someone slammed into him. Magnus stumbled and fell, and realised suddenly that he was in a dingy alleyway. Blocking the entrance was a burly man with a knife in his hand. He pointed the knife towards Magnus and yelled something in French.

The man was speaking rapidly, but Magnus could make out just enough words to understand what he wanted. He scrambled to his feet and searched through his pockets for his wallet. If he had it in his hand, he could distract the man long enough to escape.

With a sinking feeling, Magnus realised that he left his wallet back in the hotel room.

Magnus raised his hands and tried to tell the man with what little French he knew that he had no money. It was ridiculous - he had two year’s education of French, but he couldn’t remember the words. It was weird, what fear could do to a person.

The man scrambled towards him suddenly, and Magnus turned aside in an attempt to dodge him. His back now pressed against the wall, he shut his eyes - it could go one in two ways. Either the mugger would leave him alone, or he was going to die.

Magnus shouldn't have been so afraid - he'd faced death before. And yet…

The mugger screamed, but the scream was abruptly cut off. His heart thundering in his ears, Magnus opened his eyes.

His first thought was _ Alec. _

Because in front of him, the mugger now lay on the ground, blood pooling around him on the ground. He was clearly dead. A dark haired figure was bent over him.

But as they rose, Magnus could see that it was definitely not Alec. The killer turned, and Magnus gasped.

It was Shinyun.

She looked different, her eyes dreadfully blank and glassy. She was looking at Magnus as if she didn't know him.

"Shinyun?" He said tentatively. Shinyun's eyes zeroed on him.

Time seemed to slow down. Shinyun leaped at him, her mouth twisted in a snarl. She was clutching a knife in one hand, which she raised to go in for the kill. Magnus flinched and shut his eyes again, facing death for the second time in five minutes.

It never came.

Instead, he heard sounds of a struggle, and when he slowly cracked open an eye, saw a man holding a limp Shinyun in his arms, holding what looked like an EpiPen in his hand.

"Hey!" Magnus called out. What the hell was going on?

The man turned towards Magnus, who stopped short when he recognized the man. He had seen him before, in photos which Shinyun had shown him.

"You're… Yoosung, right? Shinyun's boyfriend?"

They were in Shinyun's hotel room. Shinyun herself was fast asleep on the bed. Yoosung sat next to her, brushing his hand through her hair. Magnus was leaning against a wall to the side, looking at them both.

"I don't understand," he said at last.

"She has dissociative identity disorder," Yoosung explained. That much was more than enough. "One of her personas just so happens to be a psycho. This-" he held up the EpiPen, "is specially designed to knock her out if she gets out of control."

"You came all the way from Rome for that?" Magnus asked incredulously. "Just to check on her?"

Yoosung smiled and shrugged. "Well I can't have her run around murdering people, now can I?"

Magnus saw the fondness in Yoosung's face as he looked at his girlfriend and looked away. Sometimes, his heart hurt too much.

"How?" He asked, his voice so low it was almost a whisper. "How do you love her knowing she does what she does?"

Yoosung shrugged again.

"I just do," he said simply. "It's all a part of her. I can't change it even if I want to. They say therapy helps, but sometimes it doesn't. I just had to accept her for the way she is."

Magnus stared at the ground. He doubted things would ever be like this with Alec. Alec had killed so many who were dear to him. He doubted he could ever forgive Alec for that.

When Magnus looked up again, it was too see Yoosung staring at him strangely.

"I'll be going now," he said lightly, and threw in a smile for good measure. "It was nice meeting you."

Yoosung smiled back and nodded at him. Magnus slowly left the room, going back to his own. He flopped onto his bed and stared at the ceiling, trying to work out the mess of feelings in his heart.

Fear, yes. Longing? Maybe. He thought of Alec again, of his beautiful eyes and quiet smile. Of his soft cheeks and softer lips. His laughter, like wind chimes, and even his strange giggles.

With a jolt, Magnus realized that he was missing Alec. _ Actually _ missing Alec. He had expected to miss Alec, if course, and he did miss Alec over the past few days, but not like this, not with so much longing that his heart felt like it would tear apart. He'd been with Alec almost all the time ever since they started dating, and now he felt like he was missing a limb.

Magnus checked his phone. Disappointment coursed through him when he realized that Alec hadn't left him any messages.

Magnus turned into his pillow and groaned. _ Stupid feelings, _ he thought.

The next day was a long one, filled with waiting, waiting and more waiting. Alec had texted him once, in the afternoon, which would be morning for him. Magnus waited and waited after that, longing for another word, waiting to hear Alec's rich, deep voice. Waiting was always Magnus's least favorite game, but it was usually worth it, in the end.

He waited and waited the whole day, but there was no word from Alec.

Alec stopped the car in front of his parent's house. He hadn't been here a long time, but Isabelle had asked him to drop her, and he couldn't turn her down.

"Can you get the bags in the boot?" Isabelle asked as she got out of the car. Alec sighed and got out, too, and made his way to the back of the car.

He put his hand to his head, feeling suddenly light-headed. He had been feeling so the whole day, though he couldn't tell why.

"Alec, you okay?" Isabelle asked, the concern apparent in her voice. Alec waved his hand dismissively, and almost smiled. Magnus was rubbing off on him.

"Yeah, I'm fine," he said, and got out the bags placed in the boot. There were a couple more in the backseat, but Isabelle has already gotten them.

"Okay," Isabelle said skeptically, "Do you mind-"

Alec, who was already on the way to the front door, gasped as a sharp pain hit his stomach. He doubled over, dropping the bags.

"Alec?" There was the sound of things falling, and then Isabelle was beside him. "Alec, what happened?"

"I don't-" Alec hissed. The pain was more intense now, and the world seemed to be spinning. Alec shut his eyes, but the feeling was still there, as if he was on a too-fast merry-go-round.

He could hear Isabelle's voice, sounding far away. He could vaguely recall someone else. He wanted to hold on, but for what?

The pain was gone, suddenly, and so was Isabelle's voice. Everything faded away and only darkness remained.

Magnus was worried.

It was, at last, the day when he was to return to New York, but he was more worried than anything else. Alec hadn't called him, hadn't even messaged him for the past few days. It wasn't like Alec. Something was wrong.

Magnus had tried calling him, of course, but Alec wasn't picking up.

He'd call Isabelle, but he didn't know her number.

When he called Catarina, all she told him was that Alec hadn't come to college for three days. It did nothing to assuage his fears. Was Alec caught by the police, somehow? It did something else happen?

"You seem jumpy," Shinyun commented. "Are you alright?"

"Of course," Magnus said, a little too fast. "I'm fine."

"Okay." Shinyun turned her full attention to him. "I think I figured out a way to carry your plot forward."

"Shinyun!" Yoosung called out from where he stood, a little away from Magnus and Shinyun. Shinyun had, of course, been delighted that her boyfriend had come over.

"Just a minute!" Shinyun called back. Magnus raised an eyebrow at her.

"Well? What is it?"

Shinyun shrugged, and grabbed the handle of her luggage. "Just get the guy to fall in love with the killer. It's that simple."

Magnus spent the entire flight back assuring himself that it would be fine, that he would see Alec again at the airport. Alec would definitely come. Magnus could picture him, his blue eyes darting here and there and then lighting up along with the rest of his face when they landed on Magnus. Everything would be fine.

Except, he wasn't there.

Magnus stood alone in the airport, one hand on the trolley carrying his luggage, and called Alec again. There had to be an explanation for all of this.

The phone rang and rang, but no one picked up.

_ It's okay, Magnus. He won't be coming in between us anymore. _

_ He's as gone. You'll be safe from him now. You don't have to be afraid anymore. _

_ You have my word. _

_ After all, he's as good as dead now. _


	3. Part 3

It was evening by the time Magnus reached Alec's house, but no one opened the door when he knocked.

Luckily, he had a spare key with him, but when he unlocked the front door, it was to a quiet, desolate home. There was no one there. 

Magnus first dropped off his luggage in the bedroom, then searched the whole house to see if Alec was there. He wasn't. Magnus tried calling Alec again. He could hear Alec's ring tone in the distant part of the house. It was still ringing when he followed the sound to the kitchen.

The bed was unmade, there was a newspaper strewn on the coffee table along with a coaster, and a sweater was draped over the top of an armchair. It felt like Alec was here, like Alec would just walk in from the next room any second, if Magnus only waited. But he had waited long enough.

His eyes fell on the basement door, then. Was Alec in there? Was he doing things he wasn't supposed to do?

Magnus did not want to go in there, but he also wanted to find Alec. Before he could make up his mind, however, his eyes fell on a folded piece of paper lying on the kitchen counter.

His hands shook as he picked it up and unfolded it.

_ Magnus, _ it read. _ This is Isabelle. I can't explain everything to you in this letter. I'd give you my phone number, but this is something I should tell you in person, I think. Come to the following address after you find this note. _

There was an address following the note. Magnus skimmed through it, and realised he knew this address. He wondered, his heart twisting terribly, why Isabelle wanted him to come to a hospital of all places.

All coherent thoughts flew out of his mind. Magnus took a quick shower, not lingering for long because he knew he'd start thinking if he did, and he didn't want to do that now. There was too much to think about.

He got into the car - which, for some reason, was still in the garage - soon after he got ready, thumbing in the address in to the GPS and hitting 'Go'. He'd never been in such a hurry, not since his school days when he had to wake up at ungodly hours and rush.

He could only hope that Alec was safe.

Magnus was wondering what he was supposed to ask the receptionist as he walked into the lobby. He didn't have to. As soon as he stepped into the hospital, he caught sight of Isabelle and called out for her.

"Isabelle!"

Isabelle turned to look at him. She had been talking to some brown-haired boy in hushed voices, and didn't exactly look pleased to see Magnus. She didn't look disappointed, either. Just… indifferent.

Isabelle strode towards him. With her black hair down, piercing black eyes and high heels to contend with, she looked about as scary as her brother actually was. Magnus wondered if she murdered people in her free time, too.

"Come with me," was all she said before turning away and heading for the elevators. Magnus stared after her for a moment, then followed. They got into an elevator, and just as the doors closed, Magnus asked,

"Isabelle, what happened? Why did you call me here? Where's Alec?"

Isabelle bit her lip. "It's complicated."

Magnus raised an eyebrow. "Complicated how?"

"You should see it for yourself."

The doors opened, and Isabelle stepped out first, Magnus following close behind her. They turned into a hallway, and Magnus felt a shock of recognition when he saw a couple who were clearly Alec's parents. They both had the same dark hair, the same determined face. But there was a sort of weariness in them that wasn't there in either of the Lightwood siblings.

Mr and Mrs Lightwood turned their heads in sync to look at Magnus, their gazes wondering. Isabelle took charge.

"Mom, dad, this is Magnus," she said. "He's Alec's boyfriend. He was in Paris for a student exchange program and just got back."

Mrs Lightwood's eyes raked him up and down. If she was surprised to hear that he was Alec's boyfriend, she didn't show it. "I suppose you want to see Alec, then?"

Magnus blinked. "I do. I hope it won't be of any trouble?"

Mr and Mrs Lightwood exchanged a look, one that Magnus couldn't decipher, and then Mrs Lightwood pointed to the door in front of them.

"He's in there," was all she said.

Magnus went in without another word, his heart thundering, and stopped short. The door clicked shut behind him.

In front of him was Alec, lying on a hospital bed, his hands straight and still on either side of him. One of his arms was hooked up to an IV tube. A pulse monitor beeping away was the only sound in the room.

Magnus remembered Snow White, her pale face in a sort of peaceful expression as she lay half dead in a glass coffin. Looking at Alec, he couldn't help but think that Alec looked a lot like her.

Magnus's feet moved him towards the bed without even thinking about it. He reached out a gentle ringed hand and caressed Alec's cheek.

"Alexander?" He said softly. Alec stirred, and his eyes fluttered half-open, looking at Magnus. The blue eyes that he loved so much were nearly gray.

"Magnus," Alec said in a low voice, leaning into his touch. "Magnus, why am I here?"

Magnus thought for a moment that Alec was messing with him, but the confusion in his eyes was real.

"What's wrong with me, Magnus?" Alec asked again when Magnus was silent.

"Nothing," Magnus whispered, and leaned down, kissing Alec's forehead. "Nothing at all, sweetheart."

"Then why?" Alec's expression as he looked at Magnus was so open, so vulnerable that it broke his heart. "Why am I here?"

"I don't know," Magnus said. He sat down on the edge of the bed, beside Alec. His hand moved from Alec's cheek to his hair, smoothing out the silky strands. "You tell me."

"Something happened. I.. I was in pain, and then I lost consciousness. When I woke up, I was here. I was in a different room first, and then they put me here. I heard the doctors say something about a psychiatric ward." Alec was speaking rapidly, and his expression was beseeching. "Magnus, I'm scared. Take me home, please."

Alec's arm, the one closer to Magnus twitched. Magnus realized that Alec was wriggling it, but why? His eyes travelled down the length of Alec's arm, and stopped when he saw, within the mess of white bedsheets, what appeared to a Velcro strap binding Alec's wrist to the bed. Magnus got up and touched the strap, abject horror filling him up.

"Alec?" He asked, his voice tight, "Why did they tie you up like this?"

"I don't know," Alec whispered, his voice desperate. "Please. I want to get out. I want to be with you. _ Please." _

Magnus looked at Alec for a moment, then set to work on the band, trying to open it. He'd only just located the spot from where he could pull it open when the door burst open and three men stepped in - two of them were doctors, and one was some blond guy Magnus didn't care for.

"Hey, stop!" The blonde yelled, but Magnus was determined to get the strap open. Before he could do so, however, the blonde grabbed him by his arms and pulled him away from away from the bed.

"What the-"

"Magnus!" Alec tried to sit up, but with his arms tied up, it wasn't of much use. He flopped back onto the bed and his body twisted towards Magnus.

Magnus could only watch as one of the men held Alec still - he was writhing a lot - and the other injected something into his arm. Magnus tried to move towards Alec, but the blond was strong.

Alec's eyes were wide and mournful as he looked at Magnus, and then they slipped shut as if he were falling into a deep slumber.

"What did you do to him?!" Magnus cried out as he wrenched himself free of the blonde's grip, at last.

"We only gave him a dose of morphine," one of the doctors explained calmly. "It will do him no harm."

Magnus clenched his jaw. "And why is he tied up?"

"Because he's mentally unstable," said the other doctor, and Magnus tried not to show his shock. "He tried to escape from the hospital many times. We've had no choice but to tie him. We suspect he's in shock from what happened to him and intend to keep him under observation for a while."

"Why was he here in the first place?" Magnus demanded, turning to the blond. "Alec said that he had lost unconscious. Why?"

"I don't know much," he said, shrugging, "But apparently someone tried to poison him. They found venom in his blood when we got him here."

Magnus's heart dropped down to his knees. He filed the words away for later, when he would have enough time for processing them.

"But this… you're okay with this? With Alec tied up in a bed against his will?"

The blond's lips twitched, as if his brain was going to dirtier places. Magnus didn't exactly blame him.

"It's for his own good," he said at last.

Just then, the door opened again and Isabelle poked her head in. 

"Everything alright?" she asked.

Magnus pointed in the general direction of the bed. "How are you letting this _ happen?!" _

Isabelle’s eyes were sad. "It's for his own good."

Magnus stared at her, incredulous, for a moment before he shoved past her to get out of this wretched place.

Magnus stared at the ceiling of Alec's bedroom. He still hadn't gotten used to thinking of it as his own bedroom, despite Alec telling him that it was true.

Presently he was thinking about his current predicament. Alec in the hospital, where the doctors would soon realize that he was insane and then maybe ship him away to some asylum, far away from Magnus. Anyone else in his place would've broken out into a dance. A tiny part of Magnus _ wanted _ to. And yet, he couldn't stop thinking about the way Alec looked at him, the way he said, _ Take me home, please._

Maybe Isabelle and Jace were right. Maybe it was all for his own good. But what good could it do if Alec was _scared?_ Magnus remembered the fear he saw in Alec’s eyes, fear that he himself had felt a thousand times. Alec had always seemed fearless to him, but now...

It was bad, bad idea. Magnus was pretty sure this plan was illegal. But if Alec would be happy in the end, it would be completely worth it.

Magnus sighed and scrubbed a hand across his weary face. Ragnor had once told him that he always responded to the calls of lads and lasses in distress.

Right now, Magnus was only going to prove him right.

_ She slowly opened the door to the hospital room. Alec Lightwood was asleep, his chest rising and falling in time with his breaths. But not for long. _

_ He had lived through her previous attempts. But not this one. No one was coming to save him, and he couldn't even save himself. _

_ She crept towards him slowly, holding the spare pillow in her hands. Alec slept on. Maybe it would be a small mercy if he died in his sleep. _

_ She put the pillow over his face, pressing it hard enough to block his airways. He stirred, and moments later he was gasping for breath, though he wouldn't find any, and thrashing, trying to escape her. She wouldn't let go, not so easily. _

_ "I wanted him, you know," she whispered loud enough that he could hear her. "I wanted him and you took him away from me. But no matter. _I will get him back."

_ Alec gasped again, and over his gasps, she heard the sudden sounds of footsteps in the hallway outside. _

When Magnus opened the door to Alec's room, it was to find him lying awake in bed, gasping, his eyes darting here and there in the semi-darkness.

Magnus moved towards him. Alec's eyes caught the movement and he turned away from Magnus, muttering something under his breath.

"Alec," Magnus whispered and reached out to touch him, only to have him twist away from Magnus, curling into himself.

"Alec, it's me," Magnus whispered again, his hands finding the nearest Velcro strap and opening it, freeing Alec's hand. He bent over Alec, trying to find the other strap, and he could now hear what Alec was muttering.

"Please, please don't kill me, I don't want to go-"

"Alec-" Magus found the other strap and it ripped open with a sound like tearing cloth.

"Please, I just want to be with my Magnus, please-" 

"_ Alexander," _ Magnus said, his heart breaking into pieces, and cupped Alec's face in his hands. "It's me, _ Magnus _."

Alec stilled, and then his hands tentatively reached out to touch Magnus's face. "Magnus?"

"Yes, baby." Magnus leaned in closer. Alec's fingertips were tracing his features, as if making sure that he really was Magnus and not a figment of Alec's imagination. 

"_ Magnus," _Alec said again and pulled him into a hug. Magnus wrapped his arms around Alec, one hand going up to cup the back of his head. He held Alec for a few moments, his hands touching the soft hospital clothing and Alec's silky hair, rubbing small circles into Alec’s back. Alec was holding on to him tightly, his face buried into the crook of Magnus's neck. Magnus couldn't help but marvel at how perfectly Alec fit in his arms, as if he was meant to be there, as if they were born for each other.

"Come on," Magnus whispered, breaking the comfortable silence that had settled between them. "Let's go home."

No one at the hospital had noticed as Magnus smuggled a patient out. He had parked the Maserati right outside one of the emergency exits so that Alec could get in with no one noticing him, and the security guards hardly paid any attention as Magnus drove out.

Alec had clung on to him the whole ride home, holding onto Magnus's arm and resting his head on his shoulder. Magnus didn't mind.

Now they were in the bedroom, and Magnus was holding Alec as he took in deep, shaky breaths, his face pressed into Magnus's chest. Magnus ran his hand through Alec's hair, listening to his breathing become steadier and steadier.

"I’m going to kill them all,” Alec said between gritted teeth. “I’m going to _ kill them. _ They- Magnus, they tried to _ separate _us.”

Magnus shushed him and kissed the top of his head. “Don’t say that. They saved your life. They brought you back to me.”

“Saved my life from what?”

Magnus realised that Alec didn’t know what had happened. He wondered why Alec’s family hadn’t told him.

“Someone tried to poison you, Alec,” Magnus said, deciding that there was no point in beating around the bush. Alec was silent for a moment, then looked up at Magnus in the near-darkness.

“Why?” he said quietly. “Why is everyone trying to separate us? Why can’t they just let us live together in peace?”

“I don’t know, darling,” Magnus said, kissing Alec’s forehead and pulling him closer. “I don’t know.”

It was quiet for a few moments, and then Alec nuzzled his face into Magnus’s chest and whispered, “I missed you so much.”

”Me too,” Magnus whispered into the darkness.

”I was so scared, you know,” Alec said softly, his hands tightening around Magnus. “I was scared that... that someone would take you away. That you wouldn’t come back to me.”

Magnus’s heart fell. “You don’t trust me?”

”No!” Alec looked at him indignantly. “No, I _do _trust you. I don’t trust _them. _The other people. I’m always so afraid, that they’ll hurt you, or feed you lies, and separate us.”

Magnus was silent, his hand slowly combing through Alec’s hair.

”We’re meant to be, you know?” Alec said quietly into Magnus’s chest. “We’re meant to be together, and I can see it, but they don’t. They don’t understand. They don’t understand our love.”

Magnus was silent through it all, and when he looked down again, Alec was fast asleep.

The next day at school was… awkward, to say the least. Magnus could feel people’s eyes on him, could hear their whispers. He had no idea how they knew that Alec was in the hospital, but it was very annoying.

“Heard his boyfriend almost died…”

“Sebastian’s locked up. Who else would do it?”

“Someone’s probably getting revenge. Since they caught Sebastian and all.”

“I say it’s all a bid for attention.”

“You think he murdered his lovers - and some of his haters - for attention?! That’s low, Chad.”

Magnus bit his lip as he reached his locker, and was about to open it when he heard Catarina call out, “Magnus!”

He turned, and was tackled by her in a bear hug.

“Hey, Cat,” he said, hugging her back.

“I hope you enjoyed Paris,” she said, pulling away. Magnus smiled at her.

“As a matter of fact, I did.”

Catarina nodded. “How’s Alec, by the way? I heard he came down with something?”

“He’s fine,” Magnus assured, flicking his hand dismissively. “Just a mild case of food poisoning. He’s resting at home.”

Catarina nodded. She had tried to sound nonchalant, but Magnus could clearly see the worry in her eyes. He didn’t like it.

It wasn’t supposed to be like this. Things were supposed to settle down. Everything was supposed to go back to normal, or as normal as it could get.

As he made his way to class, Magnus wondered if he really was cursed.

The sun was setting when Magnus returned from college. He dumped his backpack on the couch in the living room, and ambled on to the bedroom, where Alec appeared to be asleep with one hand under his pillow. Magnus was incredibly suspicious of the hand under the pillow, so he tentatively stood beside the bed and said, "Alec?"

One of Alec's eyes cracked open and a bright smile spread across his face. He sat up, the blankets falling to his waist, and stretched his arms out towards Magnus.

"Magnus!" he exclaimed, his eyes shining. Magnus smiled and bent down, wrapping his arms around Alec. Alec turned his face into Magnus's and kissed his cheek. "You promised we’d cuddle.”

"We'll get to it," Magnus said, ruffling Alec's hair with one ringed hand. He had missed this, missed having Alec around. Despite everything, it still felt nice to have someone you loved with you - even if they were a serial killer.

Alec himself seemed more open, somehow. Much more than he had been when Magnus first met him, of course, but he seemed to feel like he could tell Magnus anything without feeling too insecure about it. Magnus supposed it was because Alec thought that he was fine with his boyfriend's running around murdering people. It hurt, sometimes.

Alec's lips moved from Magnus's cheek to his jawline, from his jawline to his lips, and all coherent thoughts flew out of Magnus's mind. He closed his eyes and leaned into the contact, he could feel Alec's fingers tangle in his hair, and yes, he missed this, too. Magnus gently pushed Alec backwards, so now he was lying sideways on the bed, and clambered on top of him without breaking the kiss. They kissed each other, open-mouthed and hungry and hot, Alec's hands rucking up Magnus's shirt, and then he was kissing all over Magnus's neck, earning a gasp from the older man. Magnus could feel Alec's breath hot against his ear as he whispered, "Come and hold me. I want you next to me."

Magnus blinked, disoriented, partly because of surprise that Alec had ended the kiss so abruptly, partly because of the way they'd just kissed. Magnus had felt guilty everytime he and Alec got physical ever since the basement incident, and this was no exception.

He complied, however, and moved both himself and Alec so that they were lying the right way up in bed. He quickly stripped himself off of his tight pants and shirt, leaving him in his underwear. He pulled Alec close to him, snuggling into the the familiar scent of detergent from his pyjamas.

They fell asleep much later, holding each other after a light dinner in bed. Magnus had missed this, too.

_ The blood was everywhere. _

_ The blood was everywhere, flooding the floor, splattering the walls and ceiling, and Magnus was in the middle of it all. He was on his knees, staring at the sight in front of him with wide, horrified eyes. _

_ A pile of bodies, smack in the middle of what Magnus recognized as the living room of his old house. He'd watched a police officer die here. _

_ The worst part, however, is that he can recognize all of these bodies. Woolsey's blond hair, matted with blood, sticking out from the bottom; Camille's pale death-like hand with the nails painted red; Axel's bright blue eyes, wide open, unseeing, and staring right at him. He'd loved all of these people once, and lost them. Lost them to- _

"Magnus."

_ Magnus drew in a sharp breath. The voice from behind him was no more than a whisper that seemed to curl around and caress him. Magnus turned around slowly, the rest of him frozen with fear. _

_ Alec stood there, his lips curled up into a sinister smile, his wide eyes blazing like seraphic light. He looked avengeful in an angelic sort of manner, yet there was a darkness about him that could only be described as hellish. _

_ "Did you miss me?" Alec whispered, tilting his head to one side. Magnus gulped. He wanted to run, but he was frozen. _

_ "It's okay," Alec continued, coming closer to him. Magnus noticed the knife in his hand, then, covered in a thick layer of blood. Alec crouched down in front of him, and Magnus couldn't help but look into his eyes, those eyes which looked completely and utterly empty. Alec's hand reached for him, curling around his neck, his fingers brushing the thin layer of hair at the top. "We'll be together, in the end. You'll see." _

_ Before Magnus could make sense of those words, Alec plunged the knife into Magnus's heart. _

Magnus bolted awake, shaking off the nightmare. He was breathing heavily, and he could still see images from the nightmare in front of his eyes - blood, so much blood, and Alec's cold blue eyes.

"Magnus?" came Alec's voice from somewhere behind him, and Magnus stiffened. There was the sound of rustling blankets, and then Alec was sitting beside him. Magnus felt cool hands on his cheeks, turning his face towards Alec, and then Alec's strong arms wrapped around him, pulling him close. Magnus let his head drop into the crook of Alec's neck and tightened his hands - which were shaking - into fists. He tried to control his breathing.

Alec seemed to understand without Magnus saying anything that he'd been having a nightmare. He held Magnus tightly, tracing circles on his bare back and whispering all sorts of senseless things that were soothing nonetheless.

"It's okay," he was whispering. "It's going to be okay." _Yeah, right._

Magnus clenched his jaw and resisted the urge to scream. Being comforted by Alec was the last thing he wanted right now. He wanted to get away from Alec, as far as possible. It was like waking up from a nightmare about the monster under your bed, and then have the monster under your bed comfort you. It was ludicrous.

Instead, Magnus just stayed there, letting Alec's soothing words and touches pass right through him. He wanted to end this, but that would mean Alec getting upset, which would mean that the part of Alec which Magnus hated most, the part which came to him in his worst nightmares, would come out, and Magnus didn't want that. He was afraid, afraid of what Alec would do to him someday, if he snapped. He was afraid for his life.

He wondered how long he had to live with this fear.


	4. Part 4

It was late at night when Magnus was returning home from the bar. Ragnor had invited him for a drink and to catch up on things. Magnus had only drunk enough to feel a little tipsy, but not too much that he had to rely on Alec to get him home again.

Home. He wasn’t really sure what that was anymore. He’d thought Camille was home, but then she turned out to be bad. After that it was Alec, and he turned out to be worse.

He ambled along the mostly empty street, humming a tune to himself. There was only a gang of three men on one side of the street, but they were talking amongst themselves and seemed to disregard Magnus completely. Not that Magnus minded, of course. The last thing he wanted was attention of any kind. An year ago, he would’ve craved that kind of attention, but now he didn’t. Every attention he got in the past few days seemed to be of the bad kind. It was why he had started dressing flamboyantly in the first place- so that people saw his clothes before they saw his flawed self.

Magnus passed the gang, heard laughter as they joked among themselves. When was the last time he’d laughed like that?

The laughter dissipated, only adding to Magnus's somber mood. He walked on, when all of a sudden someone shoved him to one side.

Magnus's head collided with a wall, and he swore he could see stars in front of his eyes. The laughter was back, but now it was directed at him.

Magnus hissed faintly, and clutched at his head. It was throbbing with pain. He blinked back tears and stood up, leaning against the wall. He could make out the blurry outline of someone, probably the leader of the group grinning wickedly at him.

"Look what walked into our street today," he leered. "A clown. Trying to be a girl, fag?"

The others laughed again, and Magnus grimaced when he felt a hand close around his neck. It wasn't funny at all. He could feel his hands beginning to shake.

"Let.. go of.. me," he choked out.

"No," the leader said. Magnus could see him somewhat clearly now. His eyes were slightly unfocused, and moving rapidly. He was probably high on something. "What're you going to do about it?"

"Bro, wait!" One of the others said suddenly. "I've heard of this one. He's a nutcase. You sleep with him, or piss him off, you die. My buddy Seb went to jail because of him."

The leader raised an eyebrow at Magnus. "Oh, is it?"

Magnus didn't reply. The leader probably didn't like it, because he socked Magnus in the stomach. Magnus would've doubled over if it weren't for the hand around his neck.

The leader laughed. "What, you gonna get me killed now?"

"Only if you don't let me go," Magnus gasped out. He didn’t like threatening them, but he had no other option. He knew Alec wouldn't like it if something happened to him, and he didn't want people to die, either.

The three of them raised their eyebrows at each other, and laughed.

"We'd damn well like to see you try, faggot." The third guy, the one hadn't spoken until now punched him in the ribs, hard.

Magnus gasped, but the pain was starting to feel distant, as if he weren't really here, as if he was reliving a bad memory. It wasn't a good sign.

_ Not again, _ he thought. _ Please, not again… _

The second one punched him in the face, but Magnus hardly registered it. His hands were shaking really badly now.

"That was for Seb, you as-"

Whatever cuss word the guy was planning to spout was abruptly cut off by a scream when someone yanked him backwards. The guy was on the ground now, and Alec was leaning over him. He was holding a knife, and the knife had blood on it, and Magnus could see blood pooling underneath the delinquent.

"He didn't send Sebastian to jail," Alec said, his voice cold and distant and not like Alec at all. "_ I did." _

"Hey!" The leader yelled, letting go of Magnus. Magnus slid to the ground, watching over the sound of his loud heartbeat the scene unfold before him. "What the-"

Alec was there in a second, dragging him away from Magnus and stabbing him repeatedly in the abdomen as if it were a pincushion. The man's screams gurgled and died out, and he fell to the ground like a broken puppet when Alec let him go.

The third guy, his face a mask of horror, turned and tried to run. Alec didn't even attempt to follow him. He drew back his hand, and let the knife fly. It flew straight, hitting its mark. The man fell dead, a knife sticking out of the back of his heart.

Magnus sat there and watched as Alec went to retrieve the knife. He was closeby, but he was incredibly distant at the same time, as if he was watching a movie. It was bad. Very bad. Magnus could feel sweat trickling the back of his neck.

Alec walked back to the guy he had first stabbed. He was still alive, attempting to crawl away, when Alec knelt beside him and grabbed his hair.

"I could keep you as a warning, you know," Alec whispered, loud enough that Magnus could hear. "Show people what would happen if they dared to touch _my_ man. It's a shame I can't."

The guy let out a squeak in protest, but Alec drew the knife across his throat, and he was gone.

Magnus stared at the corpse, trying to slow down his stuttering breath, and then Alec was in front of him, touching his face. Magnus almost flinched.

"Are you okay?" Alec asked, but his voice sounded faraway. His eyes were an unnatural bright blue, just like in the basement.

"You- killed them," Magnus gasped out with great difficulty. It now felt like there was only a thin thread holding him to reality. The world seemed to be swaying.

Alec's eyes hardened. "They hurt you.” His hands drew Magnus closer, gently stroking his face. "Are you alright, my love?"

Magnus closed the rest of the distance between them, holding Alec tightly and burying his face in Alec's sweater. He tipped over the edge. He desperately needed Alec to ground him.

"Magnus? What's wrong?" Alec's voice was trembling, and so were Magnus's hands.

"Magnus?" The world was spinning now, and Magnus felt like he was going in one of those vertical loops in a rollercoaster, over and over and over again. His breath was now coming out in short, desperate gasps.

"_ Magnus _!" He could hardly register anything except for what was in his own mind. Everything seemed a million miles away - including Alec's touch.

Magnus did not know how long he was there, holding on to Alec. When he finally came to, he was feeling a little faint, and could hear Alec's voice, desperate as he said, "Magnus! Magnus, stay with me. Magnus, please-"

"I'm fine," Magnus gasped, though it came out more as a whisper than anything else.

"Magnus," Alec said, his voice rich with relief. He looked at Magnus, his eyes back to their normal blue. "What just- what just happened?"

"A panic attack," Magnus mumbled, feeling embarrassed, just like after the last few times he had gotten them. But that was years and years ago. "They just… they just come and go in situations like these. Don't worry about it."

"God, I was so worried." Alec hugged him briefly, and everything seemed better for just a moment. Alec pulled away and pressed his lips to Magnus's forehead, cupping his face in his hands.

"Magnus, if anything happened to you, I-"

Alec lowered his head, and kissed Magnus. Magnus sighed into the kiss, closing his eyes. It wasn't like any kiss he had ever had before - this culmination of love and pain and relief.

"Take me home, Alec," Magnus muttered as he pulled away. Alec excused himself for a moment, and Magnus leant back against the wall, eyes still closed, trying to ignore the sounds of bodies dragging across asphalt.

He had no idea why he'd said that. He wasn't even sure what was home anymore.

Alec had chosen to come to college the day after that, and a few more days had passed since. Everywhere in college, preparations were being made for homecoming. Presently it was lunch break, and Magnus was on his way to the cafeteria.

Except people were staring at him.

It wasn’t supposed to be like this. Things were supposed to quieten down when he was away. But they didn’t.

All because of some mysterious person who tried to attack Alec.

He could clearly imagine what they all were thinking. _ He’s cursed. _

Magnus drew in a long, slow breath, and tried to control his erratic thoughts. He wanted to get away from this place. Maybe permanently this time.

He could feel his heart race in his chest.

He wanted to get away.

Magnus looked up at the sound of the door.

He was sitting on the infirmary bed, his knees pulled up to his chest, when Alec entered. Alec rushed over to him, concern clear in his blue eyes, and sat next to Magnus on the bed.

“Again?” Alec asked quietly, and Magnus just looked at him.

Alec ran his hand through Magnus’s hair softly, his fingers soothing. Magnus closed his eyes and leaned into the touch.

“Why is this happening?”

Magnus shook his head, and his voice almost cracked as he said, “I don’t know.”

Alec pulled him closer, one arm going around Magnus’s shoulder. He pressed his lips to Magnus’s temple.

“It’s okay,” Alec murmured. “We’ll figure it out.”

Magnus could only hope they would.

Magnus had been advised to stay in bed for a while, and now he was lying awake, staring at the ceiling.

“Say,” said the nurse from somewhere to his left, “Do you have any idea what’s causing the attacks?”

“No,” Magnus replied.

“Is there anything, in your life that’s stressing you out? Or making you feel negative emotions? It’s usually those kinds of things that cause attacks.”

Magnus could think of one, and his heart sank. Surely Alec wasn’t the reason why he was relapsing into having panic attacks?

“I don’t know,” was all he said, his voice empty.

“Well, you better figure it out,” the nurse advised. “Once you do, all you have to do is let go of it, and you’ll be fine.”

“Oh.” Let go. Of Alec. But.. he didn’t want to.

Besides, he wasn’t even sure if it was Alec. It could be anything. It could all be a big coincidence.

Then again, Magnus never believed in coincidences.

“Magnus,” Alec said after they had reached home. “Are you alright?”

“Yes,” Magnus mumbled. He was sitting on the couch, hunched over and staring at his knees. He was exhausted of everything.

Alec walked over to him, his footsteps nearly silent on the wooden floor, and put his arms around Magnus.

“What’s bothering you, my love?” he asked. Magnus lifted his head slightly. It was pressed somewhere against Alec’s torso, and he breathed in the scent of him.

“Nothing,” Magnus lied. He didn’t know how Alec would react if he told him. He didn’t want to find out.

“_ Magnus,” _ Alec chided, his voice full of concern. “Please, I know there’s something. You’re… you’re not _ you. _You’re drinking a lot more than usual. You’re not making as many jokes as you used to. Then there’s the nightmare you had the other day. And then the attacks… Magnus, I’m worried about you.”

_ Of course you’d notice, _ Magnus thought somewhat bitterly. _ You’ve been stalking me for over an year. _

“I’m just…stressed out, I guess,” Magnus said. It wasn’t the whole truth, but it would be enough. “About everything. The college, and what happened at the hospital, and Sebastian.” _ And you. _

Alec bent down and kissed the top of his head. Magnus felt his hair rustle as Alec exhaled, presumably in relief.

“I was so scared,” he whispered, his fingers combing through Magnus’s hair. “Stay with me, okay? It’ll be fine. It’ll all be fine.” Alec kissed his forehead again. "It's okay. I'll take care of you."

Magnus stayed silent. Alec sat down beside him and pulled him close, holding him tight. They stayed there for a long time, the silence comforting.

Neither of them noticed the figure at the corner of the window, silently watching.

Magnus walked through the street, heading back to the house. Every now and then, he paused and looked over his shoulder.

He was being paranoid. He knew that. But he couldn't help it - it had become second nature by now, turning and looking over his shoulder.

When at last, he reached and opened the door, it was to the smell of sandalwood and Italian food wafting through the air.

"Magnus?"

Magnus started at the voice. It was only Alec, but his voice seemed sweeter than usual, like the scent of a poisonous flower.

"Magnus, is that you?"

Alec bounded into the living room, and Magnus's eyes widened when he was that Alec's clothes were much tighter than usual, hugging his body in all the right places. Magnus could see the curves of his biceps, his chest and abdomen. He didn't want to think too much about Alec's lower regions. That was a topic for another day.

Judging by the look in Alec's eyes, however, that day seemed to be today.

Alec came over to Magnus, pulling him into a soft kiss. Magnus blinked, more confused than anything else.

"Did you enjoy your evening walk?" Alec murmured against his lips.

Magnus managed a very intelligent, "Um, yes."

Alec smiled and pressed his lips harder against Magnus's. "Good."

Then Alec's hands were in his hair, his lips moving sinuously against Magnus's, and all coherent thoughts flew out of his mind. Magnus wrapped his arms around Alec's waist and pulled him closer until their chests were pressed against each other. Alec gasped, and Magnus took this opportunity to explore Alec's mouth. He tasted like mint - he must've brushed before Magnus came back from his walk.

They moved like a torrent against each other, their hands trying to touch all of each other at once. It was too much, all of a sudden, and Magnus stumbled back, bringing Alec down with him as he flopped onto the couch, and then Alec was straddling him, kissing him hard. Magnus brushed his knuckles down Alec's spine and felt him shudder in Magnus's arms.

"Magnus," Alec gasped suddenly. "I need to ask you something."

"Then ask," Magnus said, his voice husky. Alec clambered off Magnus and got to his knees in front of Magnus.

Magnus's eyes widened at the sight, the guilt crashing into him suddenly - people he once loved were dead, and here he was, fooling around with the person who was responsible.

"Magnus," Alec said, taking his hands, and Magnus dearly hoped he wasn't asking what Magnus thought he would, because he wasn't ready, not with Alec. He doubted he would ever be ready - although there was something hot about a psychopath kneeling in front of him.

"Magnus," Alec said again, "Will you go to homecoming with me?"

Magnus's eyes widened even more, if that was even possible. Then he burst out laughing.

His head flew back, his eyes shutting of their own accord, and he was too lost to notice that Alec had let go of his hands.

When he opened his eyes, it was to a forlorn Alec looking up at him.

"Oh, baby," he cooed, cupping Alec's face in his hands and pulling him in for a chaste kiss. "My baby, yes. Yes, I'd _ love _ to go to Homecoming with you."

"Then why did you laugh?" Alec mumbled. Magnus chuckled.

"Because," he explained, "you didn't have to all of _ this," _he gestured vaguely at the sandalwood scented air. He didn't want to know how Alec knew what his favorite smell was. "just to ask me out to homecoming. I would've said yes regardless of how you asked. You could ask me to prom while wearing a trash can and I'd still say yes."

He pulled Alec into another kiss, a press of lips against lips that was sweet and short.

"Now that that's settled," Magnus said, pulling away slightly. "Shall we go have dinner?"

He could almost feel Alec's giddy smile. "Yes."

_ Homecoming, huh? _

_ She put the pair of earrings aside and tried another one - she needed to look perfect. She needed to win her love. _

_ Okay, then. I'll see you there, Alec Lightwood. It'll be you against me. _

_ And I will win. _

_ I will have him. _

"Alec, move a little closer, a bit to the left - Yes! Stay there! Magnus, put your arm around Alec. Perfect!" Catarina snapped a few pictures in Magnus's phone, and then Alec's.

It was the night of homecoming. Magnus was surprised since it was only a few days after Alec had asked him, but he managed to rent out good tuxedos for himself and Alec in time.

"Now," Catarina said, "face each other. Pose like you're going to dance. No, don't look at me, look at each other. Yes, just like that."

Magnus looked into Alec's blue eyes, and Alec stared back into Magnus's golden greens. He wondered what he would've felt in this moment if he hadn't found out about Alec. Love? Yes. Happiness? Definitely. But not that sliver of horror and digust that he usually felt when he was around Alec. Maybe there was some world where Magnus was blissfully unaware.

Catarina handed them their phones back, and smiled at Magnus.

"I'll see you inside," she said, and bounded off into the college building. Magnus and Alec were out in the gardens, having just completed their little photoshoot against the backdrop of the lake and the golden lights that adorned the fence surrounding the lake. The whole set up reminded him too much of Camille.

Magnus kissed Alec on the cheek.

"Me and Catarina have this unspoken agreement," he explained softly, "where we share at least one dance at every event. As friends. It won't be too long, okay?"

Alec nodded at him, seemingly unperturbed by this information. "Okay."

Just as Magnus had expected, Catarina came up to them not long after they entered the hall and asked Alec, "Mind if I steal your boyfriend for a dance?"

Alec chuckled. "Of course not."

Magnus blew a kiss to Alec as he went with Catarina, and then the two of them were dancing.

"So," Magnus said casually, "What do you think of Alec?"

Ever since Catarina had been right about Camille, Magnus had decided to trust her instincts more.

"Oh, Alec?" Catarina smiled. "He's great! Possibly the best of the lost."

Magnus suddenly wondered if placing his faith in Catarina's instincts was such a good idea.

"At last," she murmured, barely audible over the music. "A keeper."

Magnus smiled at her, though his heart wasn't really in it. "Yeah. Sure."

After the dance was over, Magnus found Alec and Will standing at the fringes of the dance floor and staring at each other. Will only raised an eyebrow at Magnus, and left. The gesture said more than words would. He'd made a quick detour to the drinks table, and now he handed one of the cups in his hands to Alec.

Alec took it with a small smile and Magnus leant against the wall next to him, sipping his own drink. They watched the dancing couples for a while, and then Magnus was about to ask Alec to dance, when the music ended abruptly and the voice of Dean Penhallow filled the room.

"They're _ finally _announcing the Homecoming King and Queen," Magnus heard someone say, their voice blending with the Dean's electronic one. Magnus had completely forgotten about the King and Queen tradition, where a boy and a girl were voted in by the students and then had to share a dance. It was way too much hyped up, in his opinion.

"And without any further ado," she was saying, "The Homecoming Queen, Miss Julie Beauvale!"

There was a smarter of applause, and a young blonde girl walked up the stage, where she was presented with a plastic silver crown. Magnus had a vague feeling like he'd seen her somewhere before.

Magnus watched impatiently. He wanted it get over as soon as possible, so that he and Alec could dance.

"And now, the Homecoming King-" Magnus tapped his foot impatiently. He just wanted it all to get over. "Magnus Bane!"

Magnus's eyes widened and his lips parted. Alec turned to him, a surprised look on his face. All around them, people were clapping, and a few in the crowds whistled as well.

"But…" he muttered, more confused than anything else, "I never nominated myself."

He suddenly remembered the dance that he and the Queen were supposed to share, and turned to cup Alec's face in his hands.

"Alec, listen," he said urgently. Alec's blue eyes were staring at him, the color more than reassuring in the darkness and chaos of the room. "They're going to make me dance with that girl. But it means nothing, okay? Whatever happens, it means nothing. I love you. I'll come back to you as soon as I can and we'll dance for the rest of the night, okay?"

Alec nodded, a small smile spreading across his face. Magnus gave him a quick kiss, and then ran to the stage.

When he reached, Dean Penhallow was looking impatient, but pleased nonetheless to see him. She beckoned him forward, and placed that stupid plastic crown on his head amongst cheers.

Julie came up to stand beside him as Dean Penhallow talked some more to the students. Magnus wasn't really paying attention. His heart was beating rapidly, and he could feel Alec's gaze brush across him from somewhere within the crowd.

He didn't realize that the music had started until Julie tugged at his sleeve.

"Come on," she said, smiling at him. "Let's dance."

Magnus gave her a polite smile, and lightly held her hand, his other arm hovering around her waist. They swayed lightly to the beat, and the rest of the college followed. The stage was empty except for himself and Julie. He wished they didn't have to dance on the stage. Alec could clearly see them, and if he started assuming things….

Julie made to move towards him, but Magnus moved away so that there was still a respectable amount of distance between. He could feel Alec's eyes on him, like a ghost touch. It actually felt reassuring, strange as it sounded.

"Come on Magnus," Julie said, her own grip on Magnus rather tight. "Loosen up a little."

"I have a boyfriend," Magnus said with seeming irrelevance, except it was completely relevant to this. "I don't want him to get the wrong idea about us."

There was a sudden dangerous glint in Julie's eyes. "Maybe we should give him the right idea, then."

Before Magnus could elaborate on the meaning of that, Julie crashed her lips onto his. Everything seemed to freeze all of a sudden. The world seemed to stop spinning on its axis.

_ Oh, no. _

_ Oh, hell no. _

Magnus shoved her away, ignoring the screaming crowd. He looked around the crowd, his heart pounding in his chest, and for a moment his eyes locked with Alec's shell shocked face.

And then Alec disappeared.

The song still hadn't ended, but Magnus couldn't care less. He flung his crown out into the crowd and ran down the stage, elbowing through the students. There were too many people, too many voices, but Magnus ignored them all, trying to reach the spot where he last saw Alec.

Except when he finally reached, Alec wasn't there.


	5. Part 5

Magnus ran through the hallways, his boots clicking on the cold floor.

He’d asked a few people, and they told him they saw Alec go outside the hall, so that’s where Magnus was, hunting down his hunter in the dark maze that was the university’s halls.

He couldn’t afford for another person to die on his account. He simply couldn’t.

Magnus stopped at one intersection to catch his breath, placing one hand against. So far he’d caught maybe ten couples making out, but there was no sign of Alec anywhere. He was just wondering where to look next when he heard the sounds of scuffle and a female voice screaming.

Magnus dashed in the direction of the voice, which didn’t seem far away. His heart was beating like crazy. He only had to turn twice before he came across Alec, pinning Julie against a wall with one hand, his other holding a knife and ready to go in for the kill.

“Alec,  _ stop _ !”

Alec turned in surprise, and Magnus didn’t stop running until he was in front of Alec, then pushed him away from Julie.

“What do you think you’re doing?!” Magnus demanded.

Alec looked stunned, but the look was quickly gone.

“Stay out of this, Magnus,” Alec said, his voice strumming like a thin wire of electricity. “You don’t know what she’s doing to you?”

“Oh, is it?” Magnus raised an eyebrow. “And what might that be?”

“You know very well what it is!” Alec almost screamed. “She’s trying to steal you away from me! She knows very well that we’re both dating and yet-“

He surged forward, trying to get to get to Julie again, and Magnus put his hands on Alec’s shoulders and pushed him back. He heard Julie gasp behind him.

“Alec, stop!” Magnus yelled back at him, almost pleading. Alec had changed out of the tuxedo, and was now wearing a rugged T-shirt over black jeans. He looked at Magnus, his expression mainly of confusion. “Just.. leave her alone. Let’s go back to the hall. Come on, Alec.”

“No,” Alec said stubbornly. “Not until I make sure that she won’t try to steal you again.”

“For God’s sake, Alec!” Magnus yelled. “I’m not some thing of yours that others can steal away! So  _ please,  _ stop going around and killing people over it!”

Alec looked like he had been slapped. Magnus just stared at him, breathing heavily.

“But-“ Alec said in a low voice, “I thought you were fine with it all.”

“How can anyone ever be fine with this?!” Magnus’s voice trembled, and he made a vague sweeping gesture with one hand. “How can anyone be fine, dating someone like you?! You’ve  _ killed _ people, Alec. You murdered some people who I loved in cold blood, and probably even  _ enjoyed it.” _

Alec took a step backward, his hands falling to his side. A part of Magnus felt bad looking at him - Alec was staring at him with heartbreak in his eyes, along with sorrow and denial and much more. A part of Magnus wanted to reach out to him, but he was completely consumed by the anger blazing in him, all the pain and the fear.

“Why?” Alec pleaded quietly. “Why didn’t you tell me any of this earlier?”

Magnus snapped. “Because I was afraid you’d kill me!”

If Alec had looked devastated before, it was nothing compared to now. The knife clattered to the ground, and Alec stumbled backwards, as if pushed away by the force of those words.

“Magnus, I’d never-“ Alec’s voice was hoarse. “I’d  _ never  _ hurt you.”

“But you did, Alec,” Magnus said, and his heart was breaking, too. “You did hurt me. Several times. Over and over again. You’ve tried to kill me. You hurt me by killing the ones close to me. You’ve given me nightmares and panic attacks, and I’m  _ done _ with it all."

Alec’s back hit the wall and he turned his face away from Magnus. His mouth curled as if he’d tasted something bitter.

When he did not reply, Magnus slowly turned towards Julie, only to be met with a knife to the throat.

“Thank you, Magnus,” she said, the gleam in her eyes very familiar to Magnus. The corner of her lips quirked up, as if she won a particularly intriguing bet. “You’ve made my work much easier.”

Magnus froze, his blood running cold as if he was getting frostbite. He could feel Alec’s stare from behind him, but he could only see Julie’s.

“Don’t worry,” Julie cooed. “I don’t do false promises. I won’t hurt a single hair on your head. I promise.”

Magnus swallowed. “Wh-What are you talking about?”

Julie laughed. “Isn’t it obvious? I want  _ you.”  _ Her eyes shone eerily as she looked at him. “I want to lock you up in my home, you know. Make you all mine. Show you pleasure like you‘ve never seen before. I could parade you around town like my prize.  _ You’re all mine now.” _

Magnus’s throat was dry. “I'm afraid I don't get your point.”

Julie ignored him. “Of course, he was being a hindrance.” She gestured at Alec with her knife. “I was planning to get rid of him, of course, but now you’ve made it easier. He’ll do it himself now. Won’t you, Lightwood?”

Julie leered at him, and Alec’s eyes flickered up towards her. His eyes were void of any emotion, staring at her with a frightening blankness.

“It was you,” he whispered slowly. “You’re the one who poisoned me. You tried to choke me in the hospital. You left that note in my house.”

Magnus gaped at Alec. What was he talking about?

But Julie only laughed again. “Yes, it was me.” Her eyes glittered. "You were lucky, managing to escape every single time. But I don't have to try and kill you any more. Magnus is mine, and that's enough."

"I believe I just stated that I am  _ not,"  _ Magnus protested, turning back to Julie, "An object to be tossed around. And if you think I want to be with you in any way, I'm sorry but I'll have to turn you down."

Julie frowned, and lowered her knife until it's tip rested against Magnus's collarbone.

"Who cares about what you want?" Julie said, and sliced down the front of Magnus's shirt. Magnus gasped and backed away, but the damage was already done - there was now a long slice down the middle of his shirt.

" _ Don't hurt him." _

Magnus turned around. Alec was sitting on the ground, having just said those words, his eyes fixed on the floor in front of him.

Julie laughed again. Magnus was starting to get sick of her laugh. "As if I could hurt him more than you did."

Alec flinched. Magnus wanted to reach out to him, so badly, but he couldn't. He doubted things would ever be the same between them again.

He heard Julie's heels clack against the ground as she moved towards him, and then watched Alec, swift as a snake, unfurl from the ground and tackle Julie, pushing her away from Magnus. Julie gasped, and Magnus was too stunned for a moment to register the single word that Alec had screamed at him.

"Run!"

Magnus blinked once, twice, and then turned on his heel and ran as fast as he could. Behind him he could hear the sounds of a scuffle. He ran through the dark hallways, and his mind began to spin.

_ He was a good fighter, but so was she. Moreover she still had her knife where he had dropped his. _

_ He was also distracted, watching Magnus run, and it gave her the opening she needed to slash her knife upwards, cutting through cloth and skin. He gasped, pulling away, one hand trying to cover his wound, but it was a futile attempt. She grabbed his collar and spun, throwing him against the lockers. His face contorted in pain and his back slid down the metal until he was on the ground. _

_ Julie raised her foot and placed it on his neck, his throat trapped between the heel and the shank. He gasped for breath, his fingers hovering around her leg - as if we wanted to push it away, but couldn't do it. _

_ She grinned. "You were a fool, thinking you could ever make him happy." _

_ He didn't speak, but she could see the effect of her words on him. She was practically destroying him from the inside out, and she had to thank Magnus for the key that would be his undoing. _

_ "We're not so different, you and I," she mused, looking down at him. "But I'm better. Smarter. He'll never love you. He'll never forgive you for the crimes you committed. He will hate you for the rest of your life. But I-" she smirked, "I have a clean slate. I'll make him much happier than you ever did. And he'll let me." _

_ It was amusing, she thought, to watch his eyes as the light died out of them. She slowly removed her foot from his throat. _

_ "I'll let you live," she said, her voice full of malice. "You can watch me -watch us- and learn how to make someone truly happy. I doubt you're capable of that, though. You hurt everyone you touch, Alec Lightwood." _

Magnus's breathing had turned ragged by the time he reached the music room. His hands shook as he unlocked the door and went inside. By the time he hid behind the rack of guitars, the world was starting to spin. Magnus put his head between his knees and tried to focus. He needed to calm down. He didn't know how.

He felt hands grab his suddenly, and almost screamed. He could feel something hard, maybe metallic, bind his wrists together. He wanted to scream, but his throat seemed to close in on itself.

He felt like he was fading away, only a part of him lingering to see Julie in front of him, her hands touching his face, his neck, the exposed parts of his chest. Her lips were pressed against him. He could feel her, but at the same time he couldn't. He felt like he was in some hazy dream.

Magnus curled his hands into fists, the wire tightening around them. He could vaguely feel Julie's warmth around him, like the ghost of the sun during winter. He wasn't exactly sure what happened next, but she was gone. He could distantly hear screaming, and a crash. He had no idea what was going on anymore, and he didn't care. He could've dissipated like mist in that moment, and he wouldn't have cared.

And then  _ he  _ was there, his arms going around Magnus, tight, and the world returned to him in a rushed frenzy.

"What's two times two?" Alec whispered in his ear.

Two times two. He heard that somewhere. He knew the answer. It came to him, then, striking like a clock on the dot.

"Four," he gasped. He could vaguely feel Alec nod against him.

"Three times two?"

"Six."

"Three times three?"

"Eight."

"_Three times_ _three, _Magnus."

"Nine."

Whatever Alec was doing, it worked. The world steadied itself until he was _ here,  _ and Alec was warm and solid against him.

Alec pulled away from the hug, and Magnus watched him as his hands traced Magnus's features. He was still breathing a little hard, and shivered when Alec's thumb ran across his lower lip.

"Her hands," Alec whispered, his eyes terribly blank, "All over you."

"Alec?" Magnus whispered back, "Are you-"

Whatever he had been planning to say was lost to the winds when Alec kissed him. He practically yanked Magnus forward, whose wrists strained against the wire, and smashed their lips together. Magnus gasped against Alec's lips. This kiss was rough, rougher than any other kiss they'd ever shared before.

Alec's hands found the buttons of his shirt and he unbuttoned it, his warm hands replacing the cool cloth. Magnus moaned. He was painfully aware of the wire digging into his wrists. He was bound. He was at Alec's mercy now. Somehow the thought sent a shiver down his spine.

"Alec," Magnus gasped when Alec slid his lips from Magnus's mouth to his throat, and then his ears.

"You like this, don't you?" Alec's words shot straight through his spine, and Magnus gasped. "You're a fool, thinking you could have anything like this with someone else. Letting them convince you so. You're mine, Magnus. Whether you like it or not, you're  _ mine. _ "

Alec's hand closed around Magnus's throat, and he gasped again.

"You belong to  _ me,"  _ Alec whispering, his voice hoarse. "You belong to me, and you'd do good to remember that."

"Alec-" Magnus gasped, Alec's fingers pressing tight against his neck. "Please-"

"And if anyone dares question it," Alec continued, seemingly unaware of Magnus's dilemma "I  _ will  _ kill them. I don't care if they're a friend or a lover. I'll-"

"Alec, stop!" Magnus almost screamed. "You're hurting me!"

Alec moved away from Magnus so quickly it felt like a bandaid was being ripped off of him. Magnus gasped, and when he looked at Alec, again, it was to see him with that frightening blankness in his eyes, staring somewhere ahead of him. There was blood shining on his dark shirt.

"Alec-"

Alec shook his head. "I need to go," he muttered, a little too quickly, and walked away from Magnus. Magnus twisted around, and watched as Alec picked up Julie's body - dead and mutilated, and exit the room without so much a look backwards.

It took a long time before Magnus managed to wriggle free of the wires. He quickly buttoned up his shirt and went out in search of Alec.

He had to find Alec. He _ had _ to.

He had no idea how long it had been since Alec left, no idea how long it took to break free of the wires. He could only hope that it wasn't too late.

He searched the lower floor first, opening every single door, checking the whole room to see if Alec was hiding. Unless that room was occupied by a couple making out - or having sex - which was more times than he cared to admit.

Then he checked the first floor, where at least half the rooms were occupied by frenzied couples hoping for privacy. The second floor was mostly empty.

He was halfway through searching the second floor, and had covered nearly half of the auditorium before he heard a sniffle from somewhere within.

Magnus ran in the direction of the sound, his shoes hardly making any sound against the plush velvet carpets.

Finally, he caught a glimpse of a lone figure sitting on the ground at one end of a row of seats. Alec had his knees pulled up to his chest, his face buried in them, and was slowly rocking back and forth. Magnus could hear his voice as he approached Alec.

"It's okay," Alec was muttering to himself, and Magnus's heart broke. "It's going to be okay."

"Alec," Magnus said tentatively, and put a hand on Alec's shoulder, sitting down next to him. "Alec, talk to me, please."

Alec slowly raised his head up to look at Magnus. His face was extremely tired, as if he had run a million miles.

"Alec, I-"

Alec stopped him by putting his finger on Magnus's lips. He slowly pulled it away almost immediately, as if he couldn't bear to touch Magnus.

"I wish you'd told me earlier," he said, his voice low, his eyes fixed. "Go, Magnus. Go live your life. We're done here. I won't bother you ever again. I won't try to kill you. I promise."

Magnus was struck speechless for a moment.

For a split second, he felt relief. He was free, he was finally free. He could easily walk away from this now, with no fear for his life.

But then his heart dropped, realising what this was - a breakup.

And there was something else, too. Something that Julie had said.  _ He’ll do it himself now. Won’t you, Lightwood ? _

He was free, but...

"You're going to kill yourself, aren't you?" Magnus asked quietly. Alec turned his face away from Magnus. " _ Alec." _

The silence was an answer enough. Magnus grasped Alec's chin, and turned his head towards himself. He didn't meet Magnus's eyes.

"Alec," Magnus said again, and his voice was desperate because he _ had  _ to make Alec understand. He  _ had _ to. "This doesn't have to be the end. You can still move on. You can find someone else, Alec. You don't have to kill yourself over one heartbreak."

Alec rapidly shook his head and swatted Magnus's hand away.

"You don't  _ understand _ ." He finally looked at Magnus, and there was a sadness so deep and profound in his eyes that Magnus couldn't bring himself to look away. "Magnus, I- I could  _ never  _ move on from you."

Magnus just stared at him, confused, and Alec turned his eyes away. He explained;

"Magnus, I- I was alone for most of my life. My parents pulled me out of school after a couple of weeks due to some… incidents." He smiled sardonically. "I was homeschooled for all my life, and my parents hardly ever even let me out. I rarely talked to people of my age, apart from Jace and Isabelle and one of their friends who used to come over often. I had to  _ beg  _ them to let me go to college, Magnus. Of course, they didn't know that I often snuck out of the house. They knew about what I did, but they didn't care much for it. They didn't care much for me, at all. It was almost always Jace and Isabelle who had their attention. I was… nothing. I was just a black spot in the clean history of the Lightwoods."

Alec took in a deep, shuddering breath before continuing. Magnus couldn't help but listen, intrigued and horrified at the same time. This was the most that Alec had ever talked about himself.

"I know this is going to sound weird, but… killing people helped calm me down. I was always angry and frustrated, and there were… there were voices in my head." Alec was staring straight ahead, his eyes blank. His hands were slightly shaking, and Magnus took them in his, giving them a light squeeze.

"So many voices, telling me that.. that I was nothing. Worthless. That I was a monster and that I would die alone. That no one would ever love me.  _ So many voices. _ " Alec's voice took on a different tone now, a near-whisper that seemed a little unhinged, somehow. Magnus wanted to pull him close and hold him tight. "I hated it. I hated it all so much. But then my sister told me, one day, that I would find someone who would make it better. Who could support me and stand by me and help me heal. I didn't understand what she said."

Alec looked at Magnus again, and he was taken aback by all the emotion in those blue, blue eyes - reverence, and love, and a bit of something else. "And then I met you."

Alec slowly pulled his hands out of Magnus's, and cupped Magnus's face, his gaze never moving. "And, God, Magnus, it was so- it was so  _ good.  _ All I could think of since then was  _ you. _ All I wanted was  _ you.  _ I never thought about myself anymore. All I could dream about was you, you,  _ you." _

Magnus just stared at Alec, stunned. How was he supposed to reply to this?

Alec spoke on, faintly smiling, "There were a thousand voices in my head, driving me to kill. But now there's only your voice. These past few weeks with you, it was like a dream. But now…" the smile dropped, and Alec's eyes dangerously clouded over.

"It was a lie. It was all a lie."

"Alec-" Magnus began to say, a note of fear in his voice. But Alec already moved fast, so now he was somewhere behind Magnus. His hands slid down from Magnus's face to his neck, his arms locked around Magnus's throat, and he squeezed. Magnus gasped for breath, cold fear cascading over him. He tried to pull Alec's arms away but he was too strong.

"Alec," he gasped. "Alec,  _ please- _ "

"If I'm going down," Alec whispered into Magnus's ear, his voice cold as ice, "then you're coming with me."

Magnus's eyes widened. He could feel his hands shaking against Alec's. His vision was starting to get blurry.

"Alec, please, I think I'm going into another attack," he pleaded, but Alec didn't listen.

"Alec, if you really loved me," Magnus choked out, trying again, "you wouldn't be doing this to me."

Alec's arms loosened almost immediately. Magnus's hands went to his throat, gasping heavily for breath. He felt a little light-headed as fresh air entered his lungs.

He felt one of Alec's hands slide down his chest, resting over his heart. The other cupped Magnus's chin, tilting his head up, and then Alec's lips were pressed against his forehead. Magnus, who was still breathing heavily, closed his eyes.

"Are you okay, my love?" Alec asked quietly, his lips moving against Magnus's skin.

"Yes," Magnus breathed out. Alec was silent for a moment, and then said, his lips curving up a little,

"I'm turning out to be the worst boyfriend ever, aren't I?"

"Alec-"

"I'm _ so sorry." _

Alec pressed one last kiss to Magnus's forehead and then took off like an arrow, running down the aisle. Magnus cursed and ran after him, running faster than he ever had in his life. He caught up to Alec in the middle of the stairs that ran down the length of the room and threw himself at Alec, clasping him around the waist. "Alec, wait!"

Magnus spun him around, and found Alec's eyes bright with unshed tears. He carefully wiped them away before they fell, and whispered, his voice carrying through the quiet room, "Alec, ba- please don't kill yourself.  _ Please. _ "

Alec shook his head. "You don't understand. I can't live without you, Magnus. I love you."

Magnus shut his eyes for a moment, then said, "What you feel isn't love, Alec."

When he opened his eyes, Alec was staring back at him, a disbelieving look in his eyes.

Magnus shook his head. "Yours isn't love. It's obsession. You're not in love with me. You're  _ obsessed _ with me, that's all."

Alec stared. "No, Magnus," he said quietly. "I do love you. I can't- I can't live without you. I swear."

Magnus averted his gaze away from Alec. He thought of his own feelings, then, of how love was so wonderful, yet so cruel at the same time, how it could destroy.

"That's like comparing drugs to oxygen, Alexander," he said against his better judgement. " _ Don't. _ "

Alec flinched and turned his face away, looking like a kicked puppy. Magnus felt his heart twist, and tentatively reached out for Alec, turning his face towards himself.

"Alexander," he said softly, his fingers still resting on Alec's chin. "Look, I- I'll still be here, okay? I'll be here for you. But I can't be _ with  _ you, Alec, you have to understand. I just  _ can't." _

Alec closed his eyes and curled his fingers around Magnus's hand, bringing it to his lips and kissing it softly.

"Please," he whispered. "Please, just give me another chance. I'll be better, I promise. I'll do  _ anything-" _

"I'm sorry," Magnus said, and pulled away his hand, stepping away from Alec entirely. Something shifted in Alec's eyes, as if something had shattered.

And in that moment, any bridge between the two of them turned to dust.

Magnus moved out the next afternoon. It wasn't a hard task, since he hadn't unpacked most of his things since he came back from Paris.

He decided to crash at Ragnor's for the time being, and was presently enjoying a coffee with his grumpy new roommate at a nearby cafe. 'Enjoying' was hardly a way to put it - he was here, but his mind was elsewhere.

"That," Ragnor stated, putting his cup down, "is one messy breakup."

Magnus chuckled. He had obviously withheld the fact that Alec was a murderer, so Ragnor didn't understand how messy of truly was.

"Yes," Magnus agreed, looking outside the glass.

"And yet you offered to remain friends. Why?"

Magnus stirred his coffee silently, contemplating.

"He said he fell in love with me the very first time he saw me," he said at last. Ragnor guffawed.

"And you believe that?" He shook his head incredulously. "As if he could fall in love with you in only a few minutes."

"Exactly," Magnus said, and looked right at Ragnor. "Imagine how lonely he must've been."

_ Imagine being so alone you respond to the littlest attention you get. Imagine being in the dark for so long you latch on to the very first day of light. _

"I have to be there for him, Ragnor."

Ragnor pursed his lips and got up, having finished his drink. He clapped Magnus on the shoulder and said, "Very well. Do what you do best."

Magnus hardly registered the bell chime as Ragnor left.

He was here, but his heart was elsewhere with Alec.

Alec leaned back against the cool stone, breathing heavily.

Through the thick of the tears flowing down his face, he could vaguely make out stars shining through the crevice of the alleyway above him.

Alec stared at them, ignoring the bloody corpse lying next to him. Normally he would've enjoyed a kill, no matter how much in pain he was, but God, this was so, so different.

He couldn't stop thinking about Magnus. Magnus, his beautiful face and even more beautiful smile, the way his eyes crinkled at the corners and his irises looked like molten gold. He couldn't stop thinking about the way he kissed Alec, several times, the way his warmth surrounded Alec when he needed it.

Magnus was so, so  _ good.  _ Anyone would be lucky to have him. Alec did, once.

But now it was all gone.

And it was all Alec's fault.

It was funny, Magnus thought, just how much could change in five years.

He sat on top of the kitchen counter, a cookbook held loosely in his hands, and watched Alec as he moved around the kitchen, his arms moving quickly as he pulled out and put back various ingredients as he attempted to prepare pasta.

Magnus was pulled out of his reverie when Alec flung a piece of celery at him.

"If you're making me cook for you," he said, one hand on his cute apron - which was red with paw prints all over it, "The least you could do is tell me  _ how." _

Magnus smiled lazily at him, rubbing his eyes.

"First of all, you're cooking because you're less exhausted than me after last night," he pointed out. Last night was -  _ wild,  _ to say the least. He remembered the mattress dipping beneath him, and Alec above him, kissing him hard and rough and whispering,  _ You belong to me, and you'd do good to remember that. Understand? _

And Magnus had gasped out and said,  _ Yes. _

"And secondly," he continued, "It's not  _ my  _ fault you're so distracting."

Alec stared at Magnus for a moment, then turned his face away quickly. But Magnus had already caught a glimpse of the blush spreading across his face, and grinned. Five years, and he could still get Alec to blush like a teenager.

He went over to Alec and wrapped his hands around Alec's waist from behind, burying his face in his boyfriend's shoulder. He pressed his lips to the spot where Alec's neck and shoulder met, and murmured, "I love you."

Alec's fingers curled though Magnus's hair, easing out the knots, and he said, "I love you, too."

Funny, how a lot could change in five years. Both he and Alec graduated and moved in together, Magnus started writing novels and Alec set up his own archery range, where people could practice and learn archery. Magnus then decided to get a bachelor's degree in psychology, for research purposes, or at least, that was what he told Alec.

The truth was that he wanted to understand Alec better, wanted to know all his tics. He was in his final year now, and he did feel like he could understand Alec better, the parts that were a mystery to Alec himself slowly coming to light as Magnus learned more and more.

Presently it was summer, and they were on vacation in California, which meant he had Alec to himself for a while - and he intended to make very good use of it.

"Hey, Alec," Magnus muttered, "Do you want to go to the beach later?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't worry - there's a third part :) hopefully it'll be finished by the end of December.


End file.
